Tag Archives: boundaries

Are You Being too Vague?

You may think that you are so bonded with your kids that the should be able to gather you meaning from just a look or a word; or maybe you are feeling too harried to explain what you want them to do. Our children, however, need us to be as clear, concise and direct as possible. Being too vague can cause problems in terms of limit-setting, discipline and expectations. You might be surprised what can come across as vague to your children. For example, when you say something like “Behave” or “Were you good?” you might think you are being … Continue reading →

Grandparents who are Just Too Much

How can you actually have too much of a good thing? And, aren’t grandparents a truly good thing in our child’s life? For parents who have to deal with unsolicited advice, over-available grandparents, intervention and interruptions and other overly-involved grandparents, too much of a good thing can just be too much! I do not know how many times I have listened as a parent complained about an overbearing grandparent—one who is stopping by or calling continuously or butting in and offering advice and criticism. Some grandparents even go so far as to take children out for hair cuts, buy them … Continue reading →

You are Not Their Best Friend

Here is where things can get confusing—we want to have good, bonded, respectful relationships with our children, we want them to trust us and tell us what is going on in their lives, we may even want to be friendly with them when they are adults—BUT while we are the responsible parenting raising a minor child, we still need to have the authority and we can get into trouble if we try first and foremost to be their buddy or their best friend… Whenever I hear a parent says something like “My child and I are best friends” or “My … Continue reading →

When Others Get Angry

Many of us have spent a great deal of time trying to manage and deal with our own anger in a healthy and productive way. Whether we have taken classes, seen a therapist, or just been working on what to do with leftover and new anger we might be feeling–we’ve tried to put and keep anger in its proper place. But, what happens when we are the object of someone else’s anger? Whether it is our children, our ex, or someone else in our world, it may initially seem like taking the brunt of someone else’s anger is just more … Continue reading →

Teaching Your Child about Self-Care

For many of us, learning how to nurture, look after, and care for ourselves is an ongoing challenge. We may not have learned how to do it as children and may have instead learned how to give and do for other people to the point that we are neglecting ourselves. As we are learning how to care for ourselves as adults, however, we can try to send a different message to our children and we can teach them about self-care too. I found with my children that there were two main components to teaching them about self-care—one was to model … Continue reading →

The E-mail Trap (Checking E-mail in Off Hours)

Occasionally, I just can’t help and I check my work e-mail in my off hours–sometimes it is no big deal and I can check quickly and then head off to do something else. Other times, I get sucked into the vortex of work and even though it is my own fault, I just can’t seem to stay true to my boundaries. While it may be possible to check one’s e-mail and set things aside to do later, it can also be a trap–we think we’ll just take a peek and before we know it, we are working away… If it … Continue reading →

What to do When Customers and Clients Pester

When I was writing earlier this morning about how to cope with having other’s problems dumped in your lap in your home business operations, I thought about how a “sister” topic for me is those individuals who pester–they make repeated calls with repeated demands and nitpick over all sorts of tiny details. They might not give you time to call them back, or they may think of a dozen excuses to call or send e-mails. If you only have one or two clients, this might not seem like such a big deal, but if you’ve got a full roster of … Continue reading →

Dumping Problems in Your Lap

While I like to think I am a fairly decent problem-solver by nature, I do have my limit. There are days when I feel like all I do all day is solve problems, put out fires, and pick up broken pieces–that might be why I can get short-tempered when I get even more of that in my work world–those times when individuals just seem to want to dump their problems in my lap with a cry of “Fix it!” We know that part of being in business means trying to help people–no matter what sort of business you have, there … Continue reading →

Don’t Expect Them to be Thrilled About Boundaries

We talk a great deal about setting limits and boundaries here in the Parenting blog, as well as how to go about setting and adjusting rules. We also talk about those common parenting problems of power struggles and battles of will that can be ordinary life events—not very pleasant, but ordinary. It probably doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves that even when we set the most reasonable of boundaries or limits, we can expect that our children might not be too happy about it! I think the fact that kids balk and complain about parental rule setting is what makes many … Continue reading →

When Should You Yield?

I can be as stubborn as the next guy. As a matter of fact, in my younger days, I could hold fast, hold a grudge, or out-last just about anyone. After two decades of parenting, however, I have learned more about “letting go” than I ever dreamed in those stubborn younger days. Figuring out when to stand firm and when to yield is the common lesson and condition of the average parent… I think there is a difference between giving in and letting children get away with something and deciding NOT to make a big deal out of choices and … Continue reading →