Tag Archives: child development

Talking with Children About Sexuality.

The best protection from sexual assault that we can offer our children is to combine clear protective behavior skills with sexuality education. Previous blogs on the BITSS model of protective play covered different games to play for aiding skill development. However, sexuality? Isn’t that the same thing as protective behaviors? No. Many people simplify sexuality by assuming that it is about partner choice: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or transsexual. This is only a small part of sexuality. Anna Freud (daughter of Sigmund Freud) beautifully quoted the difference by stating, “Sex is what we do, sexuality is who we are.” Who we … Continue reading →

Developmental Assets

I am going to begin a series on developmental assets. Just what is a developmental asset you might ask? These assets are not the same as financial assets such as a home or hefty stock portfolio, but they are very valuable-to our children. Dictionary. com defines an asset as “a useful and desirable thing or quality.” Developmental assets are qualities that help our children grow developmentally with a focus on utilizing strengths and positives rather than focusing primarily on the problems individuals’ experience. The Search Institute has done years of extensive research to find out exactly what makes kids tick … Continue reading →

Those Wonderful Boys

A few years ago someone made a comment that I thought was odd, but have grown to understand. This person said to me something like-“I really feel for you being a single mother and of two boys nonetheless.” At first I thought it was a little bit of a chauvinistic comment, but I have come to realize that this person really had some keen insight into boyhood. In general, boy’s needs are different from the needs of girls, especially as they get older. As a former girl-I know I need some help to find out what boys need to grow … Continue reading →

Ways People Learn

People have different learning styles and typically utilize one primarily style when learning. Most people ages 40 and over may not have heard of different learning styles. When they were in school they had the chalkboard, textbooks to read and papers to write. Research over the past thirty or so years has introduced the idea that there are three main learning styles that utilize the senses of the body to garner information. 1. Visual Learner-This type of learner understands information better when he or she can see it. His or her eyes are her primary sensor. These people may think … Continue reading →

Protecting Parent-Child Relationships

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned is a famous quip about the ability of women to hold on to a resentment and attempt to make her offending past love pay dearly. I think that this can apply to anyone that has experienced a divorce-men included. Part of the recovery process takes us through the strong emotions of anger. If we are not cautious when dealing with our feelings of rejection and anger, we can make some serious mistakes. Remember the movie “War of the Roses” where Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner try to one up each other in … Continue reading →

Television and Your Toddler

When you have a toddler, you are faced with a lot of choices. So after you are done wrestling with the let them or not let them watch television, then you have to wrestle with what shows are good for toddlers or at least appropriate – and with the plethora of programming available out there – this can be a lot more difficult than just electing to put the television on PBS and calling it good. Not that I am knocking PBS, I was weaned on Sesame Street and the Electric Company. While the former is still available, the latter … Continue reading →

Book Review: Spiritual Growth of Children

Many times when trying to help our children grow we think primarily of meeting their physical, emotional and intellectual needs. In many cases we forget that we are also spiritual beings that need nourishment for spiritual growth. In order to focus on my children’s spiritual needs, several years ago I purchased a book from Focus on the Family titled the “Parent’s Guide To The Spiritual Growth of Children-Helping Your Child Develop a Personal Faith”. This book is a wonderful resource that I often go back to for practical ideas. The authors state that the book is “Designed to help parents … Continue reading →

Words That Discipline

During my last parenting class we discussed verbal forms of communicating in order to provide correction in a loving way. As a single parent, I am finding these classes to be very helpful and have made good use of a lot of the suggestions for my family. The first important thing to do is to say “No” firmly. Don’t be wishy washy when you want to say no to your child. If you give an ambiguous answer your children, especially teeenagers, may try to talk you out of your no. For example if your 15 year old wants to go … Continue reading →

More On Effective Discipline

My most recent parenting class looked at the topic of discipline more closely and even offered seven steps toward more effective discipline that I will provide later. As I am taking this class, I find myself asking questions such as why is effective discipline talked about so much today? Why is it so necessary for us single parents to have a consistent systematic way to train our children? I think that part of the answer to those questions lies with trying to fight today’s microwave culture. What I mean by microwave culture is that with the onset of new technology, … Continue reading →

Hot Summer Fun

Now that the school year is coming to an end, many parents will need to make alternate childcare plans. For most single parents with younger children, daycare will be the place they will most likely stay throughout the day during the summer months. Older school age children, who are not able to be left unsupervised during the day, and who have been in the daycare setting for several years, may feel that traditional daycare can be less than ideal for them during the summer months. In order to help relieve the doldrums of summer, many daycare centers are creating a … Continue reading →