Tag Archives: choices

Can’t Get Rid of a Behavior? Try Minimizing It

Of course, our parental dream when confronted with negative behaviors in our children is to want to eradicate them (the behaviors, not the children.) We want to fix it or at least make it go away so that we don’t have to deal with it any longer. Some behaviors, quirks, etc. seem to stick around despite our best efforts, however. Perhaps instead of settling for only getting rid of those behaviors altogether, we can strive to at least minimize them. For example, I realized when my kids hit those tremendous teenage years that I was probably not going to keep … Continue reading →

There Can Be Risk in All Sorts of Choices

As single parents, many of us often find ourselves trying to do anything we can to minimize and reduce risk. After all, life can feel so precarious much of the time and any safety and security we can create really feels like a good thing. I do think it is important to remember, however, that we have to step outside that safety zone if we are going to stimulate growth and accept the inevitable changes. Most choices—even the best and safest ones—have an element of risk… Let us think this thing through—think of times when you have made a change … Continue reading →

Talk to Kids about Options and Choices

It is one thing to give our kids plenty of opportunities to make choices and problem-solve on their own, but as they get older we can also help them develop into independent thinkers and build self confidence by talking over with them different options and choices that are and will be available to them. I find that as my kids get older, they have a genuine interest in the world around them and they need to talk through and explore all the options that might be available out there for them. After all, they often have no idea all the … Continue reading →

Rock of Ages

Ah, apparently you are never too old to rock. Imagine a 92 year old war bride (that is World War II!) singing The Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” Or, how about a 78-year-old man grooving out to James Brown’s “I Feel Good.” If you are having a hard time conjuring up this picture, fear not – there is a new documentary called Young at Heart that will show you the senior rockers that have been rocking out for some 25 years. The group hails from Northampton, Massachusetts, a small town of 30,000 people. Called the Young@Heart chorus, … Continue reading →

We Can Choose What we Believe

One of the statements my children used to make that bothered me to know end was “I couldn’t help it!” The implication being that they just had no control over what they did or said and that they were victims of whatever actions or statements came out of their mouths. I think this was such a trigger for me because I have met plenty of adults who still refuse to take responsibility for their own choices and beliefs and who think that they are unable to control things. As a parent, I wanted to teach my children that while plenty … Continue reading →

Balancing Decisions and Choices (Yours and Theirs)

I tend to write fairly often about decisions and choices—the importance of letting our children learn how to make decisions and take chances on their own instead of our doing everything for them as parents. I realize, however, that there has to be some balance between our making decisions and choices as parents, and our child’s making decisions and choices too… In my experience as a parent—and most of that time as a single parent—I have learned that when I start to feel resentment and completely overwhelmed, then things are likely out of balance. While I want my kids to … Continue reading →

Mix Things Up

I wrote earlier today about how making changes to one’s environment can be an important healing step for a single parent. As I was writing about different ways that sort of environmental change can make a difference in our being able to move forward, I started thinking about how shaking things up in general can be a really great thing… It is amazing how slight shifts in routine and expectations can make such a big difference. Many of us experience this reality negatively when we discover that being 15 minutes late in getting out of bed in the morning can … Continue reading →

How Far Would You Go?

Recently a mother was fined over $3000 for barging into a home where her 15 year old daughter was and taking her home. This occurred after the police had failed to step in and take the girl out of what the mother believed was a dangerous situation staying her 17 year old boyfriend and his mother. How can the law penalize a mother for protecting her child? It made me think how far would I go to protect my child? How far would you go? Would you protect your family regardless of the cost to yourself? Would you take up … Continue reading →

Big Changes in a Little Marriage

On Wednesday March 12 my sister took my mom to Rocky Mountain Urgent Care in Aurora, Colorado, after my mom called her saying she didn’t feel right, she felt like she was going to die and could my sister please come take her somewhere, anywhere after she got off work. When they got to the urgent care center my mom’s oxygen saturation level was at 71 percent so they took some x-rays. The pneumonia she’d had last year had returned –and the nodules on her lung they’d also spotted last year had grown. The Nodules My mom was afraid of … Continue reading →

3 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid with Your Toddler

Despite the moniker “terrible twos”, that period of testing and searching for independence can come as early as 15 months and last up until three years old. Navigating this period of development successfully requires, patience, patience, a little more patience and then just a little more patience. However, setting boundaries during this time will set you up for a life time of positive interaction with your child. This is the age where you’re setting the ground work for authority in your home. It’s not a now or never deal, but parents who are not consistent and firm with their toddlers, … Continue reading →