Tag Archives: communication issues

When They Won’t Say Anything

It can be deeply frustrating to be married to someone that keeps everything to him or herself. It can be a particular sore spot if they keep a tight lid on what’s bothering them and choose only to share those things that they are happy about. When your husband or your wife isolates in this fashion, it can feel like it takes an act of Congress to get anything out of them. It can also take an emotional toll on the couple as they struggle to communicate across a vast gulf of all the things they never say. How to … Continue reading →

Complex Lies & Your Marriage

Posted on by

It often starts off with good intentions, but those intentions can damage a marriage with their consequences far more than the liar can imagine. You’ve likely heard the story before – the wife goes to see a therapist because she is dealing with issues from her past, but she doesn’t tell her husband. When he becomes suspicious of her regular absences, their trust is damaged because he has to find out on his own. The husband who doesn’t tell the wife there is a problem until their savings account is drained because he thought he could fix it and then … Continue reading →

The One Where They Get Help

John and Jane were at an impasse. Their marriage was in crisis. They knew it, they tried to work it out between them, but the rifts seemed to grow wider and wider. The words that sum up brilliantly what they experienced are found in the words that open the movie Mr. And Mrs. Smith “The silence keeps growing between us, filling up with all the things we don’t say.” The silence between John and Jane, punctuated by bouts of anger and accusation, hurt and desperation, grew wider. They recognized that it would continue to expand unless they found a way … Continue reading →

Problem Solving – Resolving Together

How can I fix my partner? That’s not the question you should ask if you’re working on resolving problems. Resolving a problem takes both parties and you should never focus on fixing your partner’s problems or issues. You cannot fix their problems. You can only fix your own. The first step is to make positive changes in us. If the thought that goes through your mind is ‘why should I make the changes?’ It’s important to understand that when you take the initiative, you have the most to gain and you are setting the agenda. That’s right, you are taking … Continue reading →