Tag Archives: confidence

How Shame Can Sabotage Our Businesses

Shame is one of those emotions that can do serious damage just about anywhere it pops up. It can keep us from taking risks, feeling confident, and moving forward with relationships and activities. As a home business owner, we need our strength and wits about us and if we let ourselves feel or be shamed in our work–it can be the ruin of an otherwise successful business… I do not mean to sound melodramatic here, but I think when we let ourselves feel embarrassed, disgraced, inferior, or unworthy–we are taking away most of the wind from our sales. Without some … Continue reading →

Quieting the “Should” Voice

From the conversations I have had with other single parents, I know that I am not alone when I confess to wrestling with the “shoulds”–it doesn’t seem to matter WHAT I am doing; how I have carefully organized my time or how productive I am attempting to be, I cannot help but think of all the other things that I SHOULD be doing too (or instead). Even if I am making the best possible decision for the moment, there always seem to be a dozen other things that I could or think that maybe I should be doing… What an … Continue reading →

Sticking Up for Yourself

Single parenthood is not synonymous with being a doormat—whether it is with our children, our exes, or our work, family, or other institutions, for many of us single parents, one of the big lessons we can learn is how to stick up for ourselves and not let ourselves get taken advantage of or walked over… There is a difference, of course, between being assertive and having an aggressive chip on one’s shoulder. But, for many of us, we have been either raised to think that we should be nice and accommodating, or we have been through such a rough time … Continue reading →

What If I Was Being Evaluated?

I heard a very young woman talking the other day about how she was working to “get her children back”–obviously the Department of Human Services had taken her children and she had attended parenting classes. Now, she was having supervised visits and her take on the experience was that she was being “evaluated” to see if she was fit to parent full time. It got me to think about myself as a single parenting–what I do well and what I do not; and I wondered how I would feel and how I would fair if I was being evaluated? I … Continue reading →

Think of Yourself as a Pioneer

A pioneer is someone who is breaking new ground and leading the way into unchartered territory. As single parents, we often get trapped thinking of ourselves as “outside” the pack or not part of a societal accepted mainstream. Instead of letting that inferiority complex take hold, how about thinking of ourselves as pioneers instead? I have a few books on female pioneers and women who traveled West on the Oregon Trail to start new lives on the West coast and I have found them to be amazingly inspirational. Many of these women started out reluctantly on the journey west as … Continue reading →

They Need to Believe You Know What You’re Doing

In times of transition, insecurity, or even chaos, our children need more than anything to be able to trust in us. They need to believe that we know what we’re doing and that we are capable of looking out for them and “holding down the fort.” As single parents, it is especially important that we send our kids a clear message (and remind and reiterate) that we know what we’re doing (even if we’re not entirely sure of that ourselves!) We absolutely all make mistakes and there are plenty of days when I am really just holding on and hoping … Continue reading →

Sometimes, It’s Tough Being Different

Remember when you were a kid and your parents asked you that proverbial parental question: “If everyone else jumped off a cliff would you jump too?” The point, of course, was that it should be okay to be different and march to one’s own drummer. However, sometimes being “the” single parent can make a person feel a bit out of place. AND, it can be tough on our kids too. What single parent hasn’t cringed over the “family tree” assignment of one of those days in school when the presence of two parents (or the non-present, non-involved parent) is requested? … Continue reading →

Single Parents and Childbirth Classes

I often write about single parenthood from the perspective of someone who has been at it for a long time, because I have. I don’t often think about what it is like for those who are just starting out or may, in fact, be pregnant with a child and going through that pregnancy as a single parent—whether by choice or evolution of circumstances. Those childbirth classes are often a single parent’s first experience into the world of feeling like and “outsider.” Here are some tips for making the most and the best of childbirth preparation classes as a single expectant … Continue reading →

Managing the Parent-Teacher Night Solo

There are so many realities of single parenthood that I have become passable at over the years–one is coping with the annual parent-teacher or Parents’ Night at school. In my early years as a parent, this was one of those activities that I dreaded–after all, there were all those two-parent families smiling and sharing in their child’s accomplishments. It took me a while to get the hang of, and the confidence to maneuver such nights with pride and comfort. The thing that used to get me is that I would beat myself up and feel guilty because my kids only … Continue reading →

Making the Tough Decisions and Choices…On Your Own

Nobody promised single parenthood was going to be easy—but many of the realities of living family life as a single parent have both positive and negative aspects, and it can all be in how you look at things. Making decisions and choices can be one of those things—it’s sometimes nice not having to consult with anyone else or take someone else’s ideas into account when we are making the tough decisions, but there are other times when we really could use someone to help us share the load… Having the confidence to make the tough decisions and choices alone can … Continue reading →