Tag Archives: connection

The Importance of Staying Connected

Today was one of those days where I would have been wise to heed my own advice. How many of us, when we have time and space to do so, think of wonderful ways to approach parenting and then as soon as the kids wake up the next morning and we are launched into action promptly forget them? It happens to me more often than I would like to admit, and it happened today. Last night, I was really thinking about ways to focus on maintaining a strong connection with my boys throughout the hustle and bustle of the holidays. … Continue reading →

Two Lazy Boys

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My son is addicted to his mother. He rarely leaves her side and refuses to go to sleep without her. Nursing is his favorite past time and that ensures that his favorite past time doesn’t involve me. I’m okay with this. It’s simply a fact of life. It’s okay. I’m actually quite proud that he loves his mother so much. I’m hoping it continues throughout his life (as I’m writing this he’s happily crawling to Mom with a big grin on his little face). Soon he’ll be walking to her with a big grin. Just because I love that my … Continue reading →

What Does Full Look Like?

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If you have a child who is at all high needs, you might wonder if you’ll ever understand the meaning of “done” or “full”. What do I mean by these words? You pour energy and love and hugs and all sorts of good things in, and you think that at some point your child will feel satiated. Not so, it seems. Sometimes it feels like preschoolers simply want more and more and more, or that once you have given all you have, you need to give a little extra or a little something different. To those parents out there who … Continue reading →

Choosing Connection

These days, I am focusing on developing a conscious connection with my daughter. In this busy holiday season, it can be easy to work, work, work on everything and get nothing accomplished, it seems. It can also be easy to forgo a lot of the holiday cheer and run around in ever-tightening circles of busy, forgetting to connect with real life humans in our efforts to buy presents, bake cookies, and mail Christmas cards. I have a strong suspicion that this is not what this season is supposed to be about. My daughter’s grumpiness level seems to fluctuate in a … Continue reading →

Maybe I Really Am Unmateable?

I have written occasionally here in the Single Parents Blog about my own experiences with dating and definitely about my journey as a single parent. I date, I have dated, and I have had one heartbreaking attempt at a long-term relationship since my divorce several years ago. Most of the time, I feel nothing but gratitude and appreciation for my fabulous life. I have absolutely nothing to complain about—three terrific, healthy kids; marketable skills and a work ethic that allows me to a decent job of providing for everyone’s needs; and friends and family who love me, or at least … Continue reading →

Keep Inviting Them (Even If They Say “No”)

At 16, 17 and 18, my kids are starting to come back around—not that there were terribly lost, but hanging out with Mom was not something they wanted to do there for a couple years. My youngest is still a little wary, but we did have lunch together (and then another dinner out) for the first time in a LONG time a couple weeks ago. It is absolutely normal and natural for adolescents to avoid hanging out in public or even in private with mom and/or dad, but that does not mean we should give up trying to connect. Once … Continue reading →

Parenting when You’re Away from Your Kids

This is not going to be an article about parenting from afar, but I have been thinking about the work and the things I do as a parent and for my kids when I am not with them. We tend to think of parenting and “parenting time” as the time we are actually correcting, talking to, disciplining, or caring for our children directly. But I do think that the time we spend away from them—preparing, working on issues, solving problems, etc. is just as important. You might even say that the more effort put into the non-parenting parenting, the more … Continue reading →

Finding Ways to Connect Instead of Separate

Chances are, it can feel like your family is constantly heading in a dozen different directions. Once children get mobile and since most of us single parents have to work and take care of things outside the house too, it can seem like the forces of nature are working to keep us separated, not bring us together. When it comes to building a family (and that is how I think of it instead of just “having” a family), we have to put extra focus into ways to minimize the separation and maximize the connections. Connection does not have to mean … Continue reading →

Does Your Family Pull Together or Fall Apart During Crisis?

One of the signs of a strong family is how the family unit reacts to stress, tension and crisis as a group. When something tough happens (a move, death, etc.) does your family come together or does everyone head off in their own directions? Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect family and we all do things differently. I have a friend who feels as though she came from an incredibly strong family and as she described it: “We hollered and yelled and said horrible things to each other but then we always apologized and came together … Continue reading →

Are You Happy with the Level of Connection?

What do you wish was going better with your child? I think as parents we often think that our kids go through phases and we just have to take things as they come. Often life gets in the way and we start to feel like we are losing our connection with our child or that we don’t really know or understand what is going on and we just have to live with it. We don’t! If there are areas in your relationship with your child that can stand improvement, you can identify them and make efforts to bring about some … Continue reading →