Tag Archives: control

Differentiate between External and Internal Issues

Problem-solving is a regular part of running a home business. Most of us find ourselves constantly having to put out fires and deal with issues that come up. It helps to be able to determine which issues are coming from external sources and which ones are developing on an internal level. Which are coming from outside your business and which are problems that you are generating yourself from within? What would be the difference between an internal and an external problem? An internal problem would be something like inadequate bookkeeping software or a time management crunch on your side. If … Continue reading →

Are Your Customers and Clients Controlling You?

The other day I wrote about how we cannot control what our customers and clients do—no matter how much we might want to or how much energy we put into sales and customer service. There is a flip side of this coin, however, in that we might be letting our customers and clients control us! Do your customers and/or clients have more influence over your life and your home business than you would like? There is no denying that customer service is incredibly important in any sort of business. Even if you have a small consulting business with only a … Continue reading →

We Cannot Control What Others Do

I know that I often write here in the Home Business blog about how we can strive to improve our relationships with our clients and customers, and we also talk about ways to improve sales and communication skills. I also think it is important, however, to point out that while we can do our best to work with other people, we really cannot control what anybody else does. We really can just do our best and focus on what we can do and how we can improve our own skills, but we are not going to be able to force … Continue reading →

Making Sense: What do you Want to Happen Vs. What is Happening to you

Anytime I chat with other single parents, one of the subjects that comes up is how to get “control” of our lives. More than others, it seems, we single parents appear to wrestle with trying to get control of uncontrollable situations and sort out making the life we want happen and also accepting and coping with the things that we cannot control. I am not sure if it is because we have many of us already been through some trying times–a separation, divorce, death, or other unexpected reality–but we single parents are often trying to build lives and rise from … Continue reading →

In Control…or Controlling

It is one thing to have things under control—our families, our lives, our work situation—it is quite another to be overly controlling or trying to force and maneuver various aspects of our lives. As a single parent, things can so often feel chaotic and precarious that we may cross line from striving to get control to being overly controlling. What is the difference, you might ask? The best way I can explain it is to say that “controlling” is when you are trying to force things to happen; manipulate or force other people (including a child or children) to do … Continue reading →

The Serenity Prayer and Marriage

Do you know the Serenity Prayer? God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference (original by Reinhold Niebuhr). Even if you’re not a praying person, you can still benefit from the advice contained in this message. While it is often used as a resource in 12 step programs, it also fits marriage perfectly if you think about it: We cannot control our spouses. We should not try to do so. We should know and understand which situations are not ours to … Continue reading →

People Treat Us how We Let Them

I frequently talk about putting our spouses first, being open and giving and generous in our relationships. I often mention that relationships are give and take, but I don’t concentrate a lot on the “take” part, since most of us are born with a stronger take gene than a give gene. However, we all have things in our lives that make an impact on us and sometimes troubles can leave us feeling vulnerable. We may then find it harder to stand up for ourselves whether it’s out of fear or whether it’s because we’re just tired of fighting. There are … Continue reading →

Cutting The Apron Strings

Hello, My name is Myra and I have come to the realization that I am a control freak. Not all the time, mind you, but definitely when it comes to Tyler. Let me explain. Last Saturday we took a trip to the mall so that Tyler could spend his report card money. I also needed to get him a pair of new shoes for school and a pair of every day shoes and two new pairs of uniform pants. I had decided that I would let him spend his money on whatever he wanted to and he could also pick … Continue reading →

In the News: Jealousy gone Frighteningly Wrong

Sure, people get jealous from time to time. We’re human. Still, what about a guy that gets insanely jealous before the marriage even gets started? What do you say about a man who is so insecure concerning his soon-to-be young wife that he decides to make sure others know she “belongs” to him? A man in his mid-fifties preparing to marry a woman in her early twenties is not unheard of. Feelings of insecurity in such a relationship are not shocking either. What this man did about it, however, is absolutely appalling. Reports indicate that the night before the wedding … Continue reading →

Control Issues in Marriage: Money as a Source of Control

One of the reasons so many women are adamant about earning their own incomes is that they have seen what can happen to women who have no resources of their own. While most men are not trying to control their wives with money, it can and does happen. If the woman has no income or makes significantly less than her husband makes, it seems as if he wields control. If he takes advantage of the situation, it can be very damaging to the marriage. This may also occur if a wife has or earns more than her husband does. In … Continue reading →