Tag Archives: development

It May Not Dawn on Kids that They Can Simply Stop

I was having a casual chat with my teenagers a while back and we started talking about some of their past childhood behaviors. One of my children said something that struck me as interesting–she explained that when she was little, she did not realize that she could simply choose to STOP doing something–a behavior or activity. She said that it came as quite an eye-opener to her when she realized that she had the choice to STOP being friends with someone, acting a certain way, getting angry at a sibling, etc. While we had a good chuckle about it, I … Continue reading →

Children Learn and Develop One Step at a Time

While many of us parents find that our children definitely do not follow those growth and development charts perfectly and fit absolutely into the “average”–I do still believe that children do learn and develop step by step. One child may speed through the steps faster than another, and many children tend to go in stops, starts and spurts–but overall, I think as parents we need to respect that things happen step by step. Expecting a child to go from sitting to running sounds pretty ludicrous, doesn’t it? Still, if we get stuck comparing our children to others we may wonder … Continue reading →

Letting the Child Decide when He’s Done with Something

I cannot count the times that parents have lamented to me about two sides of the same issue—they are either upset that their child won’t give up something—a bottle, pacifier, sleeping in the crib, diapers, training wheels, etc., or they are upset that the child WANTS to give up something—the bottle, pacifier, sleeping in the crib, diapers, training wheels, etc. Instead of letting our child determine when he or she is ready to give something up, we parents seem to think we should exert more control and be the ones who choose when the child is done. In my opinion, … Continue reading →

Should You Stop Checking Homework when They Ask You To?

There was a time when homework and schoolwork was a family affair. My kids would settle down at the dining table and we would work on things together or, if they did the work at some other time, they would inevitably ask me to look things over or help in some capacity. Somewhere around the end of middle-school, my role quickly diminished and by high school, it is very rarely that my kids ask me for help with anything. It is generally just requests to sign things or get certain items or materials they might need for a project. I’m … Continue reading →

Expecting Transitions

We adults and parents are not the only ones to go through transitions. We may think of our children as growing up or going through developmental stages, but our kids go through plenty of transitional periods too. As parents, understanding and expecting transitions can help us to be able to keep things in perspective, be supportive, and keep from making a “big deal” out of behavior choices or circumstances that are transitional. Sure, there are those reasonably predictable developmental stages that appear on the charts at the doctor’s office and in parenting books, but our children have individual growth patterns … Continue reading →

How Old Before They Understand Stealing?

As parents, we can get quite alarmed with what we think is immoral behavior in our children—lying and stealing are two behaviors that can be big triggers for a great many parents. What seems incredibly obvious and “wrong” to us, however, may be a concept that our child has either not grasped developmentally yet, or that takes a while for the lessons to truly sink in. While we begin correcting and trying to teach our children right from wrong from a very early age, and we certainly want to try to correct them when they lie and/or take something that … Continue reading →

Developmental Milestones and When You Should Worry

Although we have a very extensive collection of articles already in the baby blog regarding infant development from newborns to 24 months, I still find that parents need reassurance regarding their child’s development. So what should you do when your child misses a milestone marker? Trust Your Instincts I have said it before, and I’ll keep saying it over and over and over again. Moms–we are born with good maternal instincts. Use them. If something seems off to you, go get it checked out. True, it’s probably nothing. If junior isn’t talking, he probably has a quite personality or if … Continue reading →

A Child’s Stages of Thinking about What It Means to Be Adopted

In their book Inside Transracial Adoption, Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall (both adoptive parents) look at attitudes toward adoption in general, and then transracial adoption in particular, as going through several stages. Steinberg and Hall name these stages as: Pre-Conscious, Contact, Disintegration, Internalization, Immersion/Emerging. The authors look at what these stages might mean for the adoptee, adoptive parent and birthparent. I will try to give a brief and easy-to-read summary here some of what they say about issues of adopted children, then my next blog will discuss adoptive parents. In the Pre-Conscious Stage, the child knows only his/her own family … Continue reading →

Moving On to Different Stages

I realized the other day that I have been operating my home business for over two years. If I throw in the 3 years a half-decade ago when I ran my own consulting firm out of my home as well, I really cannot consider myself a beginner. That came as a bit of a surprise to me—I think it can be pretty common for us to get “stuck” in a certain stage with our businesses and not realize when it is time to move on… When does our business go from a struggling start-up to an adolescent company? How do … Continue reading →

They May Not Be Emotionally Ready

Emotionally development and evolution can be quite different from other developmental stages. As single parents, we may be looking at those developmental stages and charts and measuring our children against them without taking into account that crisis and some of the things they have been through might have created some emotional challenges that require attention. They may be chronologically old enough, but emotionally, they just are not ready… This emotional development can go both ways, too. I have found that my children can often seem emotionally mature beyond their chronological age and I am sure it is because of some … Continue reading →