Tag Archives: divorce

Fighting Over Spending Habits

The second installment in this brief series in fighting over money is the other most common reason couples fight: spending habits. We all develop our own unique spending style and philosophy. Some fun loving individuals believe in the motto – you only live once – and therefore spend with that goal in mind. Others look further ahead to the future and all that money can provide them if they save and invest wisely. If these two types marry, then the setup is certain disaster. Most couples are not this extremely different, but everyone has some disagreements about spending. We are … Continue reading →

What Do You Think of the Term “Failed Marriage”?

Recently, I have read a few online articles that referred to divorce as a “failed marriage.” I am sure that I’ve seen and read this term before, but for some reason it just now started to get to me. Perhaps it is because so many years have passed and so much water has swooshed under that bridge that I see all the benefits and blessings and lessons that have come to be both from my marriage and my divorce (not to mention my many years as a single parent.) For me, it doesn’t feel like a failure at all… It … Continue reading →

Should You Stay Together for the Children?

Being in an unhappy marriage is a miserable feeling. Often couples begin very happy and in love. However, as time goes on, the couple begins to grow apart and their lives change. Divorce seems to be an option. However, some couples or one of the partners choose not to opt for divorce. It is not that they wish to hold on to the marriage. It is that they feel that they need to stay together for their children. Teaching, I see children living in all types of situations. It is very sad for children to not know which house they … Continue reading →

“Can A Marriage be Saved?”

At some point in the lives of certain couples they begin to wonder if a divorce is not the only option for happiness. Fussing, fighting, and arguments seem to encircle their lives and they begin to look for ways out. At this point, you have to stop and ask yourself, “Can this marriage be saved?” Only the two of you can answer that question. Some marriages can be saved and unfortunately some cannot. If both partners are willing to make an effort, the marriage likely can succeed. However it cannot be done by one person alone. Completely giving in and … Continue reading →

Two Houses, One Pet

What happens when kids who share custody time between two parents have pets? Do the pets go with the kids, or stay at one house? What is best for the kids and what is best for the pet? My kids have pets at my house and none at their dad’s. It is really basically because their dad is not terribly pet-friendly and I have always had pets. I know, however, that in their “dream world” the pets would stay with them at both houses. I think my eldest daughter would even be happier if her fish could travel with her … Continue reading →

Have You Seen the Signs of a Failed Marriage?

After talking to several of my divorced friends, I realized that they all seemed to have one thing in common. Each could look back before marriage while they were dating and see the signs of a failed marriage. However, each one continued with the wedding. In many cases, this is true. People are not completely shocked when their marriage ends in divorce. A small quiet feeling inside already knew, even before marriage, that it was not meant to be. Yes there are the affairs, unfaithful romances, and deep secrets that surprise us all, yet many of us can spot a … Continue reading →

Divorce and Your Money

When it comes to divorce, money struggles are often listed as the number one thing couples argue about. These arguments can often escalate to divorce. But, what makes this all so bizarre is that a divorce will actually make your financial situation far worse. Then, if you also have children together, your arguments about money aren’t going to go away. If this comment alone doesn’t change your mind about ending a marriage, then be sure to protect your money as best possible before you sign on that dotted line to make the divorce final. There are some crucial money considerations … Continue reading →

The Last Name Problem

For many single parent families—whether formed by choice, separation, divorce, or death—figuring out what to do about the last names of the children and the parent is a bit of a problem. If there is a re-marriage then the last name issue comes to the forefront again. Even though we now have increasing flexibility when it comes to what is considered “standard” and “acceptable” regarding last names, it still takes some thought and consideration for many single parent families. When I went through my divorce, I kept the last name I’d added during my marriage for ease. I definitely wrestled … Continue reading →

Filling Out Forms and Papers

We often talk about the psychological and emotional realities of being a single parent and heading up a family as the solo parent, but there are plenty of logistics that come into play too. Over the years, I’ve found that filling out forms and papers for my kids—everything from school registration forms, field trip permission forms, and even my own application for a passport—have required me to put some thought and consideration into my single parent status and how our family is configured. What are some of the questions that single parents face? Well, are you going to list the … Continue reading →

Combating the “Stigma” of Divorce and Separation

I was brought up to believe that it is not WHAT happens to us in life that determines our happiness, but the attitude we choose to adopt around those circumstances. When it comes to divorce, separation and single parent families, we are faced with some stigma around what it all means. As parents, we can protect our children somewhat from this stigma and help them understand that divorce and single parent families do not have to be a tragedy or even signify failure. I know that we cannot protect our kids from everything and everyone out there in the world, … Continue reading →