Tag Archives: fairness

The Rules Should Apply to Everyone

I have confessed before that I am not a parent with a huge rule book. I have always had some very clear and basic standards and family guidelines that have been the glue that holds our family together. One thing I do believe very strongly about, however, is that whatever rules you have in your house and whatever way you have of parenting—it needs to be fair: the house rules should apply to everyone and the expectations need to be age-appropriate, yet consistent. There should not be different rules for different children. I know that this can be challenging in … Continue reading →

Treating All Students the Same

I am very fortunate to be both a teacher and a parent. I think that having my own children have opened my eyes greatly to how and why the parents of my students respond the way that they do under certain circumstances. One major thing that parents struggle with when it comes to teachers and the classroom is fairness. Most parents are very quick to question, observe, and compare how other children are treated. While I am a big believer in being fair and giving each child their share, it is near impossible to treat all students the same. This … Continue reading →

Can We REALLY Raise Them All the Same?

One of the comments I hear from parents who are trying to figure out why their children can be so different is: “We’ve raised them all exactly the same!” When I consider my own mothering and parenting over the years, it feels to me like I have surely been the same person and the same “sort” of mom to all three of my children all the time, but is that really possible? How could I really be the exact same all the time to three completely different people? The truth is, my interactions with my children may come from the … Continue reading →

Keep Fairness in Mind

There are a few real life mentors who are quite inspirational to me as I work to build my own home business–one is an older woman who has built two businesses and while she has yet to get rich, she is happy, still working hard, and feels very mission-driven. Not to mention she has supported her family and continues to provide employment for her grown children–as well as a handful of other loyal employees. One of the things she said to me that has stuck with me is that she always considers what is “fair” when she makes decisions in … Continue reading →

When Fairness Becomes Important

With three kids very close in age, trying to keep things fair and equitable has always been a family priority. But, I have noticed that not all of my kids have been as focused on “fairness” and, as a matter of fact, recently my fifteen-year-old son has become very focused on what is and isn’t fair—both within our household walls and out in the world at large. In doing a little research on child development, I find that this is a typical developmental process—trying to balance out what is going on in the world and around a person, with what … Continue reading →

Life is NOT Fair

I remember one of the most annoying and frustrating things my parents would say to me when I was growing up was “Life is not fair.” Usually, I would be whining or complaining about some injustice or my siblings and I would be in the midst of a rivalrous battle. The fact was, it was an incredibly important lesson and one that I certainly benefited from learning. Life isn’t fair. It is not what anyone really wants to hear, especially not a young child whose thinking and reasoning is very much governed by black and white categorizing, but when children … Continue reading →

Marriage Tips: Equality

While strictly structuring a marriage like an equal partnership works for some people, it may not work as well for others. The key is finding a balance that makes both spouses happy. Perhaps fairness is a more appropriate term than equality. Think about it. Do you really want everything in your marriage to be 100% equal? When confronted with the idea that everything should be identical, exactly the same, most people do not. Most people actually prefer that each spouse uses his or her unique abilities and talents to complement those of the other person. They want a fair exchange, … Continue reading →

Step-Grandparenting 101

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Judging by the number of times that concerned parents write into the forums here at Families.com about issues concerning the relationship between children and their step-grandparents, this is an issue that is not going to go away. It is a sign of the times. The grandparents today are from a generation where divorce was less common and blended family issues just didn’t exist. But those days are gone. It is said that blended families will soon be the most common type of family in the U.S., outnumbering even nuclear families. Good, bad or indifferent, parents and grandparents need to understand … Continue reading →