Tag Archives: favoritism

Living with In-Laws?

Living with in-laws is a situation some married couples face. Sometimes it is early in the marriage until a couple gets on their feet financially. Other times it occurs when parents get older and need care. It is something a married couple needs to think seriously about before embarking on it. Mick and I have been in this position three times in our married life, and we have seen several others examples within family and close friends, so we know some of the positives and some of the pitfalls. Some things to consider if you are contemplating this decision: Do … Continue reading →

Grandparents, Are You Being Fair? – Part 2

Yesterday we looked at how grandparents are unfair to their own offspring by abdicating any responsibility for the welfare, behavior and building of character of grandchildren by spoiling them and allowing them to do as they please. But there is another way that grandparents can be unfair. That is favoritism. Favoritism can create extremely difficult situations. We see in the Bible of the problems that occur in families. Look at the problems that occurred because Rebekah favored Jacob and Isaac favored Esau, Genesis 25:28. It resulted in deceit, a family split apart, and hate and lack of forgiveness that continued … Continue reading →

Responding to: “Which Do You Like Better–Sons or Daughters?”

Okay. I need to vent. I was actually asked this question by a live person the other day, when I shared that I had three children, two daughters and a son, I was asked whether I liked parenting the girls or my son better. After staring blankly and processing the question, I was able to answer with what I would like to think was a little grace and trying to hide any scorn or judgment in my voice. I just explained that I love and adore all my children and I didn’t “want” any particular genders and feel like they … Continue reading →

When Grandparents Play Favorites—Part Two

I wrote earlier today about how parents and families can start to cope when a grandparent or grandparents are playing obvious favorites among grandchildren, but I also wanted to talk about things that parents can and must do for their child or children when family dynamics go awry. Even if you’ve tried addressing the problem directly and talking with grandma or grandpa, you will still need to help a child to understand and process family favoritism issues—whether he or she is the chosen favorite or not. You may think that a child who is favored and chosen will get off … Continue reading →

When Grandparents Play Favorites—Part One

Life is not fair and that is definitely one of the challenges we parents face when it comes to teaching our children about how to get along in the world. Sometimes that lesson hits early and close to home and I have talked to many parents who confess that having grandparents play favorites is one of those early, painful and challenging family lessons… Sometimes, grandparents play favorites between families—a favored son or daughter’s children are the noticeable favorites—while other times they may choose one or two grandchildren who are the favs. To be fair, I think that often grandmas and … Continue reading →

Grandparent Favoritism—My Unnecessary Worry

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Earlier this month, I wrote about an adopted child’s adjustment to home and about how grandparents can support the child’s bonding with his/her new parents. I wrote that sometimes grandparents’ eagerness to welcome the child can confuse the child. But what if you have the opposite problem–it seems the grandparents don’t warm to the newly adopted child as readily as to other grandchildren? In adoption, as when a new baby is born into the family, sometimes one of the best ways family members can help is by caring for an older sibling or siblings and letting the mother and father … Continue reading →