Tag Archives: fear

When Fear of a Battle Keeps You from Speaking Up

Many of us single parents feel as though we have seen our share of battles. Perhaps we had a tough divorce or separation, or we have had to do battle for custody, battle with our ex or other family members, or we feel as though we are constantly fighting at work or on other fronts. This overload of battles can make us feel as though we just do not have another fight left in us and can contribute to us avoiding speaking up or standing up for what we feel is going on, in order to avoid any more battles. … Continue reading →

Are You Purposefully Prolonging Transition?

Maybe you call it “getting stuck” or maybe it is really just trying to avoid change or hold back the tide—but sometimes we purposefully hold ourselves back to keep from moving all the way through a period of transition. It can be because we are afraid of the unknown or because we have been through so much change already that we want to stay still for a while. Other times, we may just get into a “comfort zone” and not be ready to push through to the other side. The thing is, change comes along anyway and resisting can just … Continue reading →

Facing the Fear of Being Alone

We have talked about loneliness now and again here in the Single Parent’s blog. I realize that there are some of us who wrestle with this issue a lot while others of us have either moved past it, or it has never really been an issue for us. Regardless, loneliness can be an issue for a single parent and for many of us, we first have to face our fears—mostly our fear of being and staying alone. My relationship with loneliness has been fairly common—I found that I was much lonelier when I was married or partnered than I ever … Continue reading →

Is it Time to Make Friends?

Timing is important when making friends. We must be ready to make friends and open up to others. Years ago my husband and I went along to a church near where we lived. The people were so friendly, they overwhelmed us. We never went back. At that time we were still on our journey back to the Lord and we were not ready to be swamped with friendliness or commit to others. Back then such friendliness was all too much. It frightened us off. When we planned to move house, any number of people told us stories of people who’d … Continue reading →

Fear is Not a Reasonable Motivator

In the old days (a few generations ago), it was considered important for the authority of a parent to have an element of fear. I still meet parents who think that if their children are “afraid” of them, they will be more likely to behave. While a parent may be able to scare a child into immediate behavior changes with a threat or using fear, in the long term it can be bad for the child and very hard on the parent-child relationship. There is a difference between fear and respect. I, for one, want my children to respect me … Continue reading →

Do We Want Them to Be Aware or Afraid?

Preparing our children to live in a relatively “unsafe” world is important; we also want them to know about stranger danger and learn skills for making safe decisions and keeping themselves out of harm’s way, but focusing too much on safety and danger preparation can make our children paranoid and scared. How can we help them to be aware without being afraid? Fear can be really inhibiting. Telling our children that they might get “stolen” or “kidnapped” if they move out of our sight might be something we say with the best intentions, but it can create immobilizing fear for … Continue reading →

Is Fear Holding You Back?

Fear can stop us doing those things we know we should do. On Australia Day, 31 people in the Shoalhaven area committed to becoming Australian citizens. One person only took a couple of months to make that decision. Another man admitted it took him 62 years to decide to become an Australian citizen. One could only assume it was a fear of committing himself and changing his allegiance. Maybe you are in a similar position, with regard to the Lord? You’re afraid of committing yourself. You’ve heard the gospel message. You’ve felt the tug of Jesus on your heart prompting … Continue reading →

Perils in Paradise

For me, each day is a battle between fear and trust. Maybe it is for you too. If we are not careful our fears can control us. They can stop us enjoying life and more importantly stop us doing those things God wants us to do. Though I love God’s creation and enjoy swimming in Jervis Bay, I’ve heard from a friend who owns and operates the business, ‘Canoe with a View’ of the marine life that lives in our bay. Each day as I step into the waters near our home I have to overcome the recurring fear of … Continue reading →

Working Through the Fear Response

Although I would LOVE to learn how to live a life void of fear, I have been working on ways to work through those habitual and seemingly in-grained initial fear responses. Whether it is a new work idea, something that comes up with my kids, or other typical life event, sometimes my first response is to feel nervous and fearful. As single parents, we can learn how to push past those initial fear responses that might be holding us back from making significant changes. I was recently asked to submit a full propose for a substantial freelance job in a … Continue reading →

Being Afraid to Make a Decision

One of the results of going through a crisis or a major life transition (something big like a divorce, separation or death) is that we can get immobilized and afraid to make decisions. As single parents, we may feel like we have made poor decisions in the past and how one earth can we trust ourselves to make decent ones now? Especially now?! In reality, making decisions and choices is what can get us OUT of that feeling of immobilized fear. Confidence and self-esteem come from taking charge of our own lives and that means making decisions. This lesson is … Continue reading →