Tag Archives: foster mothers

Book review: A Quilt of Wishes

A Quilt of Wishes is a charming little book. It tells how, while a baby girl sleeps in China, her mother waits across the ocean, wondering about her baby. She finds an old quilt that her mother had made for her, and hopes that her baby is warm and loved. She decides to make a quilt for her baby. She uses her own old baby clothes, and friends learn about the project and make squares for the baby’s quilt. They send wishes for the new baby and for the family’s happiness, which the mother repeats to herself as she sews. … Continue reading →

Three Mothers

Posted on by

I am my daughter’s third mother. I accept that now. For a long time I didn’t get it. Before I adopted, I thought all the emphasis on birthparent relationships was a bit ridiculous and certain to be confusing for the child. I greatly admired women who choose life for their unborn babies, and make a painful decision so that their children can gain a stable upbringing. Still I thought of them almost more as surrogate mothers. After all, motherhood is not dependent on mere biology (and “mere” is exactly how I thought of it). Motherhood is changing diapers, making tough … Continue reading →

“Will you call me mommy?”

Posted on by

I had assumed that, since my older daughter was using a few words (among them the Korean word for “mommy”) at the time of her adoption, I would tell her that I was her new mommy. Many mothers who adopt from Korea have a necklace made with the Korean characters for mother. These, along with T shirts, are also available with the characters for “grandmother” and other family members. I sent a photo album for the foster mother to show the child, in which I had painfully transcribed family members’ roles in English and Korean. I saw her point to … Continue reading →

To Travel or Not To Travel?

Posted on by

When we prepared to receive our first daughter from Korea, we were lucky enough to be able to travel to receive her. Although Korea offers the option of having the child escorted, our child would be older than most of the Korean babies then coming over–between nine and twelve months old, prime stranger anxiety stage. We felt it would be even harder on her to bond with a strange escort for 16 hours or so then be passed over to another set of strange hands. I was trying to think of it from the baby’s point of view. I didn’t … Continue reading →