Tag Archives: guilt

It is Okay to get a Babysitter

I know that it can be expensive to hire a babysitter and I also know that as single parents, we may feel like we work so much and are away from our kids so much as it is, that hiring a babysitter is a bad thing. I have not yet met a single parent who did not carry around a fair amount of guilt and spending non-work, non-obligation time away from a child or children topped the list of guilt-inducing activities. I am here to say right now, however, that it is OKAY to hire a babysitter. If expense is … Continue reading →

Do You Feel Guilty When You Get Sick?

For some reason, many of us not only try to avoid admitting when we are getting sick or have come down with an illness, but to actually feel guilty when we do. As if it is shows some weakness or is some failing on our part. While it may not feel like there is room for illness in a single parent’s life, illness can be our body’s way of telling us to slow down and take care of ourselves or it can be an opportunity for us to learn how to let go of the guilt and feelings of weakness. … Continue reading →

Single Parents and Guilt–Part Three–Helping Our Children Deal with Guilt

Single parents are not the only ones in the family affected and influenced by feelings of guilt–our children can be susceptible too. They might feel guilty and believe that they are one of the reasons for a separation or divorce, or they might feel guilty if they want to play on a sports team or need money for a school field trip. There are all sorts of reasons that children of divorced and single parent families might feel guilty and as parents, we can help them learn how to let those feelings go… Of course, helping our children deal with … Continue reading →

Single Parents and Guilt–Part Two–When Others Work to Make You Feel Guilty

We’ve talked about how we can carry around guilt ourselves as single parents and ways to dig in and figure out where it is coming from and letting it go–but the truth is, guilt is not always self-generated. Sometimes, our single parent guilt is originating from people and situation outside of us. We might have an ex partner or spouse who is “laying on the guilt” because we have moved on; we may have family and friends who are putting their own values and belief systems onto us and trying to make us feel guilty for whatever reasons. What can … Continue reading →

Single Parents and Guilt–Part One–Identify the Source and Symptoms

I know that guilt and single parenthood has come up before here in the Single Parents Blog, but I don’t know if enough can be said on the subject. When I woke this morning, I started thinking about guilt and the single parent family from three different angles or directions and decided to write a three-part “series” on guilt and the single parent–first, how to figure out where it is coming from and how it is manifesting itself in your life; secondly, how not to let other people add to your feelings of guilt; and finally–a subject I don’t think … Continue reading →

How Sin Affects Our Self-Esteem

Even when we’re trying to be righteous, little sins, and sometimes not so little sins, can become a problem. Whether it’s a one-time thing or an on-going cycle, we are affected in a multitude of ways. We stop feeling happy. Our tempers grow short. We feel guilty. We try to avoid any conversations that might link back to the sin we are seeking to hide. Until we repent and forsake the action, we feel miserable. We can’t feel good about ourselves and yet guilty at the same time, and in this way, sin robs us of our self-esteem. When we … Continue reading →

“Don’t Guilt Trip Me!”

Okay, who among us hasn’t been on the receiving end of a guilt trip? Whether it is the silent treatment or a cold shoulder or someone stepping in and doing something because we didn’t get it done “on time” or the way they wanted? It can happen amongst family, friends, and at work and when it comes to our own parenting, it is a sure fire way to create a division and conflict between ourselves and our child. I am not an intentional guilt-tripper, but occasionally I do lapse into it (and I’m not even sure why—I guess that is … Continue reading →

Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother

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In Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother, we looked at how 39-year-old Elinor was still caught up in a desperate game of trying to win the love and approval of her mother, who suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When Elinor came in for therapy she was sad, slightly depressed and full of rage for a mother who just could not give her the love and approval that Elinor wanted. Although Elinor had a loving husband, and two wonderful children, she was not happy. This is not unusual when basic childhood needs such as love and approval have not been delivered to … Continue reading →

Parenting With No Regrets

Regrets…I am sure that I am in good company when I confess that wrestling with guilt and regrets has been one of my ongoing “issues” in parenting. Years ago, I remember reading an article or book where the writer said if you do your best job as a parent, you will be able to let go with no regrets. While this sounds fabulous in theory, I haven’t quite figured out how to put it into practice. Perhaps, because I’m a mom… I suppose that being fully engaged in parenting and striving to do the best job we possibly can with … Continue reading →

How to Cope When a Customer Tries to Make You Feel Guilty

We’ve all been there–either a coworker, boss, colleague or customer/client is trying to manipulate us into doing something that we have stated we won’t, or get us to do extra work, cover for someone else or just feel guilty for whatever reason. For some people, this seems to be the main way they interact with other people. Here are some tips for how NOT to feel guilty and what to do when you have to cope with someone who is a real guilt monger: The first thing to understand that guilt is all about trying to get you sucked into … Continue reading →