Tag Archives: independence

Expect a Few Practice Leaps Before Leaving the Nest

My own personal experience with leaving home has left me a little skewed. I may have mentioned before, but I turned 18, graduated a half-year early from high school, enrolled in college, rented my own apartment and moved out—all within about a week. Of course, I had been planning, budgeting and saving for nearly two years leading up to my emancipation but I did it boldly and never looked back. I think that since this was the way I did it, I assumed that everyone leaves the nest with such assuredness. The truth is, however, that most kids need to … Continue reading →

The Terrible Twos Might not Wait for the Second Birthday

It happens to just about every parent—it seems that overnight your cute, acquiescent, adorable and bubbly baby turns into an independent monster overnight shouting “No!” and “Mine!” at every interval. Alas, you may be expecting the arrival of the terrible twos but surprised to find that they don’t always wait until after the second birthday… I think that parents of the newly verbal, vocal, and opinionated toddler need to hear that they have done their job! Congratulations are in order if your child is starting to assert her independence and has learned how to make her wishes, wants, and needs … Continue reading →

Maybe I Really Am Unmateable?

I have written occasionally here in the Single Parents Blog about my own experiences with dating and definitely about my journey as a single parent. I date, I have dated, and I have had one heartbreaking attempt at a long-term relationship since my divorce several years ago. Most of the time, I feel nothing but gratitude and appreciation for my fabulous life. I have absolutely nothing to complain about—three terrific, healthy kids; marketable skills and a work ethic that allows me to a decent job of providing for everyone’s needs; and friends and family who love me, or at least … Continue reading →

The Anxiety of Growing Up

It can be tempting to think of childhood and the growing up years as being one nonstop romp for our kids. It can also be tempting to imagine that the parent is the one who is anxious and stressed and sad to see that little one grow into adult. The fact is, however, that growing up can be anxiety-producing for kids too. I know firsthand that during some of those major developmental leaps and, especially now that my kids are on the eve of adulthood, there can be a great deal of emotion and anxiety on their part associated with … Continue reading →

A Child Discovers the Power of the Word “No”

For many parents, it can be quite disturbing when their two year-old discovers the word “No”—she says it with such gritty determination. She soon says it all the time, whether she really wants what is being offered or not. My second daughter learned to say the word “No” and then came up with her first “sentence” at the same time: “My do it.” Her determination to be both independent and in control of her life was amazing and exhausting. While she had been somewhat stubborn from birth, when she started to master language, she could be downright contrary. Why does … Continue reading →

Facing the Fear of Being Alone

We have talked about loneliness now and again here in the Single Parent’s blog. I realize that there are some of us who wrestle with this issue a lot while others of us have either moved past it, or it has never really been an issue for us. Regardless, loneliness can be an issue for a single parent and for many of us, we first have to face our fears—mostly our fear of being and staying alone. My relationship with loneliness has been fairly common—I found that I was much lonelier when I was married or partnered than I ever … Continue reading →

Getting Them Ready for Independent Living

I strongly believe that all children (all people really), whether they are male or female, need to be prepared for living independently. Even if we hope our children will partner or marry and we LOVE to do housework, take care of them, and take care of all of the domestic duties, we are short-changing our children if we do not guide them and teach them those every day living skills and get them ready to live independently. Doing a few chores a week until they graduate from high school is probably not enough for an independent future. Children do need … Continue reading →

Those Early Temper Tantrums

When someone laments about the “terrible twos” or those trying toddler years, they are usually referring to temper tantrums. Somewhere around a year old or 18 months, otherwise sweet and bubbly children can start to throw temper tantrums. Is there anything at all that can be done to minimize those early temper tantrums or at least learn to cope? Young children have tantrums for all sorts of reasons–they are frustrated at not being able to communicate and get what they want, they are tired, sick, trying to figuring out where they stand in the world and how they can make … Continue reading →

Feeling Irrelevant as They Gain Independence

It is typical for parents to feel a bit of a tug as children head off and out into the world. Whether it is heading off to preschool or kindergarten, the first week of summer camp, a school trip, or even something as simple as the first overnight sleepover–these little bursts of independence for our children can trigger feelings of irrelevance and imagining ourselves out of a job for parents… According to the experts, the more wrapped up in our children as part of our identity we are, the harder their independent leaps can be for us. That is one … Continue reading →

Are There Ways You Can Foster MORE Independence?

I would probably argue that the children of single parents have a tendency to be pretty high on the independence scale. Just the fact that there is only one adult to tend to things can force a child to learn how to either do some things on her own, or learn to help out a bit. But, even so, there may be times when we need our children to step up more—we need them to help out a little, or at least become more independent in managing their own “stuff.” What can we do as a single parent to try … Continue reading →