Tag Archives: manipulation

Single Parents—Watch Out for Using Manipulation

There are so many tools and tricks that a parent can use that work well and do not harm our children or our relationships with them. Unfortunately, sometimes we all get tired, haggard, or look for short-cuts in order to motivate or get our children to do what we want them to. There is a big difference between motivating and inspiring our child, and using manipulation techniques to get what we want. Manipulation is when we try to trick, cajole, force or threaten our child into doing something. Manipulation feels yucky and it feels very different from things like reward … Continue reading →

Watch Out for “Strings Attached”

It would be nice if everything in our home business world was out in the open—all of our interactions and relationships were exactly as they appear to be. Unfortunately, that just is not the case. In fact, we do have to be wary of relationships and situations in which we are going to be held accountable in ways we do not want to; we have to be on the lookout for situations where there are definitely “strings attached.” It is not uncommon for there to be reciprocal working relationships in the business world. For example, you may get a great … Continue reading →

Do Not Let Yourself get Sucked In

We have more control over our lives and those we let in it then we may think. For many of us, is a matter of realizing that whether it is our parents, our children, coworkers, an ex, or other relationships in our lives—we have the power to say “no.” We do have the power to decide whether we are going to let ourselves get sucked into stress and drama or not. Maybe we don’t get to choose our coworkers, family members or even who we fall in love. I suppose I can indulge an argument that people come into our … Continue reading →

Identifying Whose “Problem” it Is

I do not know about your child or children, but mine can get pretty good at manipulating situations and trying to make their problems and issues seem like they are actually mine. As a parent, it can help us to figure out how to respond to our children if we first identify whose “problem” it is—claiming our part and NOT claiming the stuff that actually belongs to our kids. My sister-in-law has a phrase that she uses with her kids when they are trying to make their issues her problem. She will say: “This sounds like a personal problem”—it is … Continue reading →

Subliminal Communication 101: How to Manipulate Mates and Influence Lovers

In addition to September’s designation as Pleasure Your Mate Month, it’s also Subliminal Communications Month. “What does that have to do with marriage?” you may be wondering. Manipulation, pure and simple. Ah, but before you go judging and thinking manipulation is a bad thing, wait. Sure, manipulation has been put to many a dark use, but it is not inherently evil. Quite the contrary. Why I Use It Wayne would tell you I’ve almost mastered the fine art of manipulation. I will admit he’s right. I’ve had a good apprenticeship, though. It started in college, as part of my major … Continue reading →

Parent Tug-of-War

If you are among the majority of divorced parents, you find your kids often put you in a parent tug-of-war game. Let’s face it, kids are really good at getting what they want. Not that they’re bad kids but they quickly learn that coming from a divorced family has its advantages. I remember many times when I had told my kids no about something, only to find out their father took them on his weekend not knowing they were not to go. For instance, my son had been grounded one particular weekend. He had planned on going roller-skating with friends … Continue reading →

Three Misconceptions that Can Affect Your Marriage

There are many misconceptions that people embrace, especially when it comes to marriage, especially new marriages. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking things should automatically be a certain way when two people are in love. It doesn’t always work like that. Here are three misconceptions that can have an impact on your marriage: Love Conquers All Love can do a lot of things, and it even has some healing properties, but love does not conquer all. Things can happen that will come between even the most loving couples. The fact that two people love each other isn’t always … Continue reading →

“If You Really Loved Me…” and Other Manipulations

That’s right, playing the old, “if you really loved me…” card is manipulation. So are many other games that people play. While this and other tactics may actually cause our spouses to give in to us at times, manipulation is not good for our relationships. We’ve all done this or some variation but we need to move past such things and develop a deeper and more honest level of communication. Voicing a need or a request should be enough in a close relationship. If your mate does not respond in a way that you believe is appropriate, discuss the situation … Continue reading →

Getting Caught in the Mommy Trap

Have you ever been caught in the mommy trap? What do I mean by that? Let me tell you a little story, when my daughter was just two, I signed her up to go to a daycare facility twice a week. The idea was to let her spend time with other children and to help increase her socialization. We just didn’t know anyone else with young kids and the opportunities for her to get engaged with other children were few and far between. When I took her the first time, she was thrilled and excited. She couldn’t wait to get … Continue reading →

Control Issues in Marriage: Money as a Source of Control

One of the reasons so many women are adamant about earning their own incomes is that they have seen what can happen to women who have no resources of their own. While most men are not trying to control their wives with money, it can and does happen. If the woman has no income or makes significantly less than her husband makes, it seems as if he wields control. If he takes advantage of the situation, it can be very damaging to the marriage. This may also occur if a wife has or earns more than her husband does. In … Continue reading →