Tag Archives: marital tips

Divorce: A Bad Word

I will never forget when my children were younger and a neighbor child rang my doorbell to inform me that my son (who was about 7 years old at the time) had said a “bad” word.  “Really?” I responded.  “What did he say?” You could tell this kid was proud of himself, sure that after he told me, my son would be getting into some really big trouble.  Loudly he declared, “He said,” but then he barely whispered, “hell.”  I had to bend over to hear the word. Well as it turned out my son was apparently relaying a message … Continue reading →

Lucky in Love? No Such Thing

Is there such a thing as to be lucky in love?  When it comes to marriage, there really is no such thing as luck.  If you know a couple (or perhaps you are that couple) where it seems like they have it all together…trust me, it is not luck.  It is hard work. A good marriage isn’t built in luck, on chance.  It takes three key ingredients:  dedication, selflessness and commitment.  Let me be the first to tell you that none of these are easy to do. Dedication and commitment might sound the same but they really are different.  Dedication … Continue reading →

Charged with a Life Sentence

Ever have one of those moments where the light bulb in your head suddenly comes on?  You are given a revelation and you aren’t really sure if it was divine providence or just pure luck. That happened to me last week when I was watching Dr. Phil.  I’m not exactly a junkie but I try to keep up on the shows that depict teen issues.  This time, however, I happened to be watching a show about marriage. I can’t even recall what the specific issue was.  But Dr. Phil said something to the wife that really struck a chord.  He … Continue reading →

Top Ten Tips: Don’ts of Divorce, Part I

1. Do NOT do things that will come back to bite you. Seriously. Do not let emotions cause you to make irrevocable mistakes. Of course, this is a tough time, but you can make it less difficult by being smart. One example is venting your frustrations in a note – to or about – your soon to be ex. Don’t do it. Ever. These things have a way of showing up in the courtroom. Do not put anything in writing that you don’t want the judge, the public, or even your mother to hear in open court. Also, with the … Continue reading →

Marriage Tips: X = eXaggeration

Since there aren’t that many words that start with X, especially as pertain to marriage, I had to improvise. That doesn’t mean the subject of exaggeration is not still one that needs to be addressed in many marriages. Remember when you were a kid? Did your parents or teachers say things like, “You NEVER listen,” or “You’re always up to something,” or any other all or nothing statements? This kind of exaggeration can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. People begin to think that if they are ALWAYS wrong anyway, there isn’t much point in trying to improve. When you start with … Continue reading →

Problem Solving – Resolving Together

How can I fix my partner? That’s not the question you should ask if you’re working on resolving problems. Resolving a problem takes both parties and you should never focus on fixing your partner’s problems or issues. You cannot fix their problems. You can only fix your own. The first step is to make positive changes in us. If the thought that goes through your mind is ‘why should I make the changes?’ It’s important to understand that when you take the initiative, you have the most to gain and you are setting the agenda. That’s right, you are taking … Continue reading →