Tag Archives: marriage counseling

Seek Help Early with Marriage Difficulties

Did you know that the average couple waits and entire six years before asking help for marital difficulties? This fact is from the Gottman Institute, a research facility that has been studying marriage since 1973. Furthermore, most marriages end within the first seven years (also called “the seven year itch”). This is a sad state of affairs. It means that so many couples live with unhappy marriages for far too long. Unhappiness in marriage will ultimately lead to divorce in the majority of cases. Not only this, but unhappy marriages can affect the lives of the individuals themselves, subjecting them … Continue reading →

There’s No Shame in Marriage Counseling

When I was a little girl, oh, twenty-five years ago, marriage counseling was something people only did if they were contemplating divorce. Whenever I heard that someone was seeing a therapist, it meant that horribly bad things were on the horizon. It was shameful—people would have hidden their therapists in plain brown wrappers if they could. It was with this mindset that I approached my own need to go to a therapist after my husband and I had been married for about eight years. We’d had some disagreements that we couldn’t resolve on our own, mostly stemming from the different … Continue reading →

Finding a Good Therapist

It can be very difficult to make the decision to go into therapy and people begin therapy for many reasons. It could be that the person is in so much emotional pain, that to do nothing about it is not an option. At the other end of the spectrum are people who don’t really want to go to therapy but are forced to by a spouse or family member. The odds of success are high for the former group and obviously much lower for the second group. But for whatever reason you decide to enter therapy, the one thing you … Continue reading →

“Can A Marriage be Saved?”

At some point in the lives of certain couples they begin to wonder if a divorce is not the only option for happiness. Fussing, fighting, and arguments seem to encircle their lives and they begin to look for ways out. At this point, you have to stop and ask yourself, “Can this marriage be saved?” Only the two of you can answer that question. Some marriages can be saved and unfortunately some cannot. If both partners are willing to make an effort, the marriage likely can succeed. However it cannot be done by one person alone. Completely giving in and … Continue reading →

Therapist Induced Marital Suicide

Can seeing a therapist actually destroy your marriage rather than repair it? The 1950s is about the time that people really started addressing marital issues and discord in any kind of systematic or institutional way. That’s not to say that pastors and ministers didn’t offer family counseling and moral support, but as an industry – marriage counseling didn’t really exist. The 1950s really focused on traditional marriage with a focus on gender roles. This was the decade after World War II and woman had a taste of working and being more independent. They left the workforce in droves as soldiers … Continue reading →

New Marriage Book: Would You Like to Help?

If you could help someone write a book on marriage, would you do so? Well, you wouldn’t actually be helping write it in this case, but you would be helping the author with her research. It’s quick, easy, and painless. Dr. Carin Rubinstein is a writer and a social psychologist from New York who contacted me about an upcoming book. If her name sounds familiar, you may have seen her previously on shows like Good Morning America, Oprah Winfrey, The Early Show, The View, and Today. Dr. Carin expressed concern over issues in her own marriage of twenty-five years, such … Continue reading →

Laugh, Cry, Kiss Your Problems Goodbye

Having a hard time lately? One of the best pieces of advice I have seen for coping with communication problems and disconnect in a marriage is to go out and have a good time. You may be looking skeptically at this, but I’ve known two couples who went to a couples weekend to work on their problems. They spent four days at a resort where they thought they were going to spend the weekend delving into every part of their problems and confronting the ugliness that has become their marriage. A Night on the Town The first step they were … Continue reading →

A Season of Healing

The holidays are a season of healing. We are encouraged to embrace our fellow man, to share a smile with a sister mother and to beam at the children who are bubbling over with excitement for the decorations and more. Everywhere you go during the holidays there is something to smile about and all of these feelings of good will and kindness are advantageous for you and your partner to resolve issues both large and small. Healing a Troubled Marriage Have you and your spouse been experiencing some distance or disagreement in your marriage? Troubled marriages benefit from this time … Continue reading →

Relationship Rescue

911, relationship rescue required at Maple and Oak Lawn to resuscitate a bored couple who have ceased having anything to talk about and meet more because it’s a habit than out of any real desire. Specialists are en route to the scene now, please stay on the line until they’ve arrived. The above paragraphs seem a bit absurd, but in the age of reality television it’s more likely that somewhere there is a show just like this. With shows like the Bachelor and Wife Swap out there doing cattle calls to create tension or allowing couples to see how good … Continue reading →

What is Marriage Education?

Who needs marriage school? You fall in love, you plan the wedding, you get married, and you figure it out together as you go, right? Well, for some that’s true, but today you’ll find that many people are trying out premarital counseling and marriage education, from engaged couples to those who have been married for some time. So, what exactly is marriage education? First, I’ll tell you what it’s not. It’s not marriage counseling or a marriage support group. It’s not about dealing with individual couple’s personal issues, problems, or concerns. It is actual classes and workshops designed to teach … Continue reading →