Sometimes I Still Need My Mommy

Mother daughter relationships can sometimes be a minefield, especially after you are an adult with children of your own. You may feel that you are walking a tightrope between being an adult and being your mother’s child. At no time is this truer than when you become a single mother. Everyone wants their mother to be proud of them so you may already feel like you’ve let your mother down by getting divorced. I know the guilt I feel for being divorced makes me want to be perfect at everything else. Perfect mother, perfect daughter, and perfect friend. Sadly, no … Continue reading

Mother-Daughter Venom

Just when you thought Spelling vs. Spelling couldn’t get any more venomous, mama Spelling pens a poisonous open letter to her famous daughter Tori in an effort to keep the war alive. Mission accomplished! I won’t re-print the note Candy Spelling had TMZ.com publish yesterday (you can read the anti-love letter in its entirety here), but I can’t help but address some of the choicer lines, as they do illustrate the essence of the mother-daughter tightrope walk and the sad legacy both women are leaving behind for their children/grandchildren. Candy begins by calling her 36-year-old daughter “middle-aged” (a pointed jab … Continue reading

Mental Health Week in Review: May 11-18

It’s been a big week for family relationships in Mental Health this week as we looked at further ways of setting healthy limits for your children in Setting Healthy Boundaries for Your Children (3) and Setting Healthy Boundaries for Your Children (4). These two blogs complement the first to in this series when we talked about how it is important for parents to teach their children that they can, in fact, deal very well with the word “No”. In fact, it is imperative to their future health and happiness that they do learn how to deal maturely with the N-word. … Continue reading

Walking the Mother-Daughter Tightrope (1)

When a mother gives birth to a baby girl, there is potential for a tremendously strong bond to develop. Having a female child allows a mother to re-experience her own growing-up process, this time though the eyes of an adult. We mothers can see first hand the joy our children of both genders experience as they explore the world and gradually take charge of their own lives. But the mother-daughter bond is different. We can so clearly see ourselves in our own daughter as she grows up: playing girl-orientated games, choosing clothes, playing at being grown-ups, wearing your shoes, using … Continue reading

Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother

In Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother, we looked at how 39-year-old Elinor was still caught up in a desperate game of trying to win the love and approval of her mother, who suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When Elinor came in for therapy she was sad, slightly depressed and full of rage for a mother who just could not give her the love and approval that Elinor wanted. Although Elinor had a loving husband, and two wonderful children, she was not happy. This is not unusual when basic childhood needs such as love and approval have not been delivered to … Continue reading