Tag Archives: older child adoption

Helping the “Parentified” Child

My last blog talked about children who have assumed responsibilities inappropriate for their age, and now must learn to be children—to trust, to explore, to play, to allow the adopted parent to parent any younger siblings. Most older children go through a “honeymoon phase” with their new family. When newly placed, they greatly desire to please these new adults who have the power to care for them and the hope of a family to offer. During this phase, behavior is generally fairly good. “Parentified” children may be uncommonly good at chores and self-care activities. Conflict in the early stages of … Continue reading →

Issues Illuminated in The Waiting Child

Last week I wrote about Cindy’s Champnella’s book The Waiting Child: How the Faith and Love of One Orphan Saved the Life of Another, which tells the incredible story of her four-year-old daughter’s campaign to find a family for a toddler she had been assigned to take care of at her orphanage. In addition to the central story of trying to bring their daughter’s ill-nourished “baby” to the U.S., the book also deals with many aspects of adoption: the “voluntary donation” fees paid to orphanages, the deprivation some children have experienced in the orphanages, fears and insecurities in older children, … Continue reading →

National Adoption Month 2008

National Adoption Month is bringing a permanent home to approximately 3, 500 foster children in the U.S. this year. National Adoption Month awareness activities are credited with helping more than 20,000 children find homes in the past nine years. President Bush has proclaimed November to be National Adoption Month. His proclamation urged Americans to celebrate adoptive families in general and in particular, to consider how to find homes for the country’s foster children. This year, adoption agencies have put a special emphasis on adopting older children and teens from foster care. Some suggestions various parent groups and agencies have for … Continue reading →

When Adoptions Don’t Work Out

No one wants to talk about it—not adoptive parents who know how wonderful adoption can be, not prospective parents who desperately want to believe that love will conquer all, not professionals whose reputations and self-image are based on facilitating the happily-ever-after family. Adoptions that don’t work out are a small percentage of adoptions . However, they can represent ten to twenty percent of older-child adoptions (different agencies define “older child” differently when keeping statistics. I believe it generally refers to children over age seven.) Adoptions of older children are ten to twenty percent more likely to eventually disrupt than adoptions … Continue reading →