Tag Archives: parent-child communication

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Writers are often told to show, don’t tell. In the world of parenting when communicating with our kids we should tell, don’t ask. In the book, What Did I Just Say!?!, by Denis Donovan and Deborah McIntyre, parents are encouraged to say what you mean and mean what you say. If you are trying to get your toddler to come and sit down next to you, for example, you shouldn’t ask if he wants to come and sit next to you, you should tell him to come and sit down. When I noticed this book in the library I grabbed … Continue reading →

The TENDER Approach to Communicating With Your Kids

Here’s a short quiz for you. What are the three possible outcomes when we attempt to communicate with our kids? According to Dr. Paul Coleman, they are: 1. The conversation will bring you closer to your kids. 2. The conversation will start an argument. 3. The conversation will lead to avoidance or withdrawal. Our goal is avoid number two. Of course, arguments are sometimes unavoidable; when this happens we have to make sure we clear the air before ending the conversation. Coleman discusses a communication plan called, TENDER. The TENDER method of communicating involves: Teaching – Involves instructing kids in … Continue reading →