As teenagers discover their own sense of unique identity and develop the strength to move away from their families a strong sense of attachment will help a teen become more independent. The strength of their attachment with their parents is the foundation of the child’s ability to move forward in their lives knowing there is a secure base to return to if there is a crisis in their future. For adopted children the transition from childhood to adulthood may bring up old adoption issues.Some adoptive parents feel helpless during this stage of their child’s life. Adopted children may wonder, “If … Continue reading →

The more information we give to our teenagers the better able an adopted child will be to answer the abstract questions. Some teens believe adoption is the reason for all of their problems and that everything would be perfect if something else happened. Some adopted teenagers will think reunion with their birth family would solve all their problems. Other adopted teens may not have issues about adoption compared with other teenage issues they have in their lives. It can be difficult to determine if the anger in an adolescent is due to adoption or just being a teenager. Teens work … Continue reading →

When children reach early adolescence they begin to think in abstract terms. By the age of twelve or thirteen adopted children have a better understanding of why children are placed for adoption. During this age adopted children are able to recognize their adoptive parents were the ones who were responsible for taking care of them in every way. Children are able to understand adoption as a “legal transaction” and that it was a transfer of parental rights from their birth parents to their adoptive parents. Our children face many different developmental stages and milestones along the way to adolescence. As … Continue reading →

Self-esteem is an important factor in the developing school-age child. Self-esteem is a child’s overall judgment of themselves. Good self-esteem is important for all children and influences self-confidence, creativity, and motivation. Healthy self-esteem gives a child pleasure in being who they are and who they can become. Self-esteem over shadows academic capability, physical beauty, opportunity and social skills. All children need to feel successful in all areas of development, academic, social, and emotional. For adopted children he or she must also incorporate their adoption or foster care status into their view of themselves. Some studies actually show that the self … Continue reading →

By the age of seven, most children begin to recognize families are usually defined by blood relationships and start to understand the difference between birth and adoption. Children in non-traditional families typically begin to realize their family is different from most others. During the early elementary school years, children start to understand the concept of adoption and the loss it means for them. Children conclude that in order to be adopted they had to lose something–the chance to grow up with biological relatives. Adopted children begin to understand they don’t have what other children have, they are different from their … Continue reading →

Pre-school children have a vary limited understanding of what the word “Adoption” means. Most young pre-school children are unable to differentiate between being adopted and being born into a family. These little children have not developed the ability to think about themselves as both being born and then adopted. Children during this developmental stage enjoy hearing their adoption story told over and over again and will repeat it to anyone willing to listen. Adopted children at this age may think all children were adopted and that all moms and dads adopt children. Adoption themes may become a part of play … Continue reading →

During the first several years of a child’s life attachment with the parents is the most important issue. Adopted newborn behavior relationships with their mother and father is not much different then a biological baby’s behavior would be. The biggest differences between biological and adopted newborns appear the most with the adoptive parents feelings and behaviors. When dealing with the ordinary issues all parents of new babies face, such as colic and fussiness, adoptive parents often worry their instincts aren’t working right or that they would know what to do if they were the biological parents. Many adoptive parents of … Continue reading →

My little boy Jeremiah. Parenting in general can be stressful. As parents we often get different advice and information from grandparents, doctors and teachers. It can be confusing enough to just be an ordinary mom and dad, but add to this the fact we are adoptive parents and our questions and concerns are compounded. This series of blog entries will be entitled: Raising an Adopted Child, and will cover some of the research and information known about children who grow up adopted. Research shows that all children have similar levels of understanding about adoption at roughly the same age whether … Continue reading →