As a parent of a teen it can sometimes feel like all you do is give, give, give.  In turn, your teen takes, takes, takes. Out of all the ages and stages of life, the teen years tend to be some of the most selfish.  You thought it was bad when your child was two or three years old and constantly screaming, “Mine!” Its one thing to declare a toy as “Mine!” and quite another when a teenager feels the world belongs to them and it should oblige their every whim.  Parents tend to be at the brunt of this. … Continue reading →

Do you attempt to micromanage your teenager’s life?  What that really means is you are trying to control it.  Yet these are the years when we have to learn when to let go, when to start loosening the apron strings. This takes a lot of trust and for me, prayer.  It’s difficult to do.  You sometimes question whether you have done too much or not enough in letting go. At the same time, new freedoms must be earned.  The first day your teen gets his or her driver’s license, you don’t hand over the keys and say, “Have at it!”  … Continue reading →

Has your teenager ever accused you of being a hypocrite?  Let me tell you something, they can detect it a mile away and they will usually be the first ones to point it out. If we were to get real, most of us would likely have to admit that we have been a hypocrite.  Maybe it’s telling your teenager that they shouldn’t do something because it’s not good for them, but then we do it. You might have told your teen it’s wrong to lie.  Yet two seconds later they hear you on the telephone telling a whopper.  Or you … Continue reading →

Do you know a parent who tries to live through their children?  Maybe you are that parent.  Can I give you some advice?  Stop. One of the most detrimental things we can do is attempt to mold them into the person we wished we had been.  These expectations put a tremendous amount of pressure on them, leaving them no room to be who they were meant to be. This was a lesson we learned as parents early on.  My husband has always been athletic, so when we found out our first child was going to be a son; he had … Continue reading →

One of my favorite shows to watch with my teen daughter is “What Would You Do?” hosted by John Quinones.  These are staged scenarios in which you learn who will and who won’t get involved. We oftentimes talk about what we would personally do, had we been that in situation.  One doesn’t expect to get the opportunity to actually experience something similar but that’s just what happened last week.  The only difference is that it wasn’t staged. I had picked my daughter up from her driver’s education class and for some reason, without any thought to it, took a different … Continue reading →

We all want to be who we want to be.  Most adults feel this way, so you can only imagine how true this is for teenagers. This is where individuality comes into play.  As parents we have to learn how to foster this.  At the same time, as our teens get older, we also need to foster independence.  They need to be ready for that time in which they leave home. As soon as you try to stifle a teen’s individuality or you don’t allow for healthy growth toward independence, you stand in the way of having a good relationship.  … Continue reading →