Tag Archives: perfectionism

How False Assumptions Fuel Anxiety

If you are living with an anxiety disorder – such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or panic disorder – you probably live with a deep-seated set of assumptions about life that simply are not true. Unfortunately, these are assumptions so ingrained in your belief system that you never think to question them. You take these assumptions for granted, giving them needless power over your life. The key to overcoming anxiety is to bring these negative assumptions out of the shadows and into the light. Upon close scrutiny, you can come to see assumptions for what they really are – false … Continue reading →

Too Much Pressure to do Everything Right

I know firsthand how important organization and a sense of control can be to a single parent. So much of our lives may have felt (or does feel) out of control. There are so many elements to manage and we might even feel like we have something to prove (to whom I often wonder?) All that said we can be succumbing to too much pressure to do everything right and get everything just so… First of all, I think we need to ask ourselves what is really going on? What is driving us to try to be so perfect and … Continue reading →

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder: Diagnostic Criteria

Posted on by

The anecdotal stories of Terry and Shaun, both sufferers of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder have been discussed in previous articles. The links to both are listed at the end of this article. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) differs from its better known near-namesake Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which is one of the anxiety disorders. In contrast, OCPD is one of the personality disorders and is included in the same category as other personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personal disorder and several others. OCPD is a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness and perfection at the expense of … Continue reading →

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (2)

Posted on by

In the previous article on this disorder (see link below) we looked at the story of Terry, an intelligent postgrad student whose career had stalled and marriage was failing due to the presence of obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). As explained in the previous article, OCPD is unrelated to the more well-known obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) which commonly involves behaviors driven by obsessive thoughts, such as repeated hand washing and checking of locks on doors and windows. Today we look at the case of Shaun who possesses many of the characteristics of Terry. His preoccupation with his job and the minute details … Continue reading →

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (1)

Posted on by

This personality disorder is not related to the similarly-named condition known as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The latter disorder is one of the anxiety disorders while today’s article describes a more pervasive personality disorder. Links to the more commonly-known obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are listed below. Terry is a typical sufferer of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). A gifted scholar, Terry has been doing post-graduate study at the same university at which he graduated over nine years ago. He has a set routine every morning, rising at the same time and completing a series of morning tasks such as reading the newspaper, taking a … Continue reading →

Some Days I Wish I Was Invisible

Sometime ago a prospective adoptive parent wrote to the forums with a concern. She was considering keeping her child’s adoption secret from extended family. She mentioned that she didn’t want them to be always judging how she acted with the child, how she disciplined, whether she was doing the same thing with her adopted child as she had with her biological child. Most of the time I am out in public I react to my kids without thinking about adoption, which is as it should be. Occasionally I wonder afterward what people may be thinking. Today was one of those … Continue reading →

If You Act Perfect, You’re Setting Yourself Up For a Fall

I want my kids to know that I am a flawed, fallible, human being who makes mistakes. I also want them to know that I’m the authority in our house and our family. It may seem like this is a paradox, that these things are mutually exclusive—but in reality, a parent has to do both, we have to be both human and unflappably “in charge.” The trick, of course, is pulling it all off with some semblance of grace… A parent who tries to paint a picture of perfection is really asking for trouble. Eventually, you are going to fall … Continue reading →

When OTHERS Want and Expect You To Be Perfect

Many of us wrestle with our own perfectionism and it can be tough enough—but there is nothing like running your own home business to help you learn to let go and allow mistakes and bumbles to happen and learn how to roll with things (okay, maybe parenthood is another situation where we have to learn to tolerate our imperfections.) But, what happens when customers, clients, and colleagues project their own perfectionism and their fears of making mistakes onto you? What do you do when it isn’t your perfectionism that is bringing you down as you strive to build your business—but … Continue reading →