Tag Archives: perspective

The Best Intentions of a Single Parent

I have been told that good intentions just aren’t enough, but I would like to think that the universe will cut a little slack for a single parent. After all, many of us carry around the best of intentions most of the time, but things do not always turn out the way we intend. I am finding that as my children are getting older and they are all older teenagers now, they are starting to appreciate the fact that I am almost always trying a little more. When they were younger, they were incredibly harsh critics, but then again, so … Continue reading →

Thinking Like a Parent, But with Empathy for the Child

Okay, here is your quiz question for the day: How well do you remember being a child? And, the follow-up questions: Are there certain ages you remember being better than others? Are there triggers that make it difficult for you to remember that you’re the parent now and NOT still a child? Most of us bring our childhood experiences with us into parenting and we either want to right the wrongs that were done to us, do things completely different than our parents did, or sustain a pretty good or idyllic childhood. As parents, however, we have to remind ourselves … Continue reading →

Who Is Really Afraid Here?

I wrote earlier this morning about how as parents we can have more compassion and understanding for our young children as they start to develop and exhibit what seem like “irrational” fears. As I was writing, I couldn’t help think about how we sometimes create fears for our children or at least contribute to their fears with things that we say and do. Sometimes, the fears our children exhibit and share are really our own… Take, for example, stranger danger and the fears we have about our children getting “taken” or “stolen” from us. Using this strong, fearful language with … Continue reading →

Remember, Childhood Passes

There is no denying that parenthood can be a frustrated, exhausting time. There are those days when we just can’t muster the excitement or the patience to face another childhood crisis. I often have friends and others who share with me their exasperation over certain ages and stages and confess that they just don’t know how they are going to get through another day, week, sickness, birthday party, etc. All I can figure to tell them is that from my perspective here at the end of nearly two decades of parenting is that childhood passes, everything is temporary, and even … Continue reading →

Parenting Denial—Part Two—How it Helps

Earlier today, I wrote a rather serious article about how denial on the part of a parent (or two) can be harmful to our children and our families. To be fair, I also wanted to write a little more light-hearted piece about the benefits of a healthy dose of denial on the part of a parent. There are definitely times when it is probably best that we NOT make a big deal out of something! I think I have already made clear my opinion on dealing with big stuff—watching out for problems that might be developing from our children’s behavior. … Continue reading →

Parenting Denial—Part One—How it Hurts

We have all heard jokes about how parents have a tendency to think their children are the smartest, most beautiful and most amazing creatures to ever walk the earth. I, for one, don’t think there is anything wrong with that! There are some positive things that come from a little bit of denial as a parent (more about that in another article.) At the same time, we can cultivate a denial when it comes to our children that can be harmful. There are definitely times when we need to put on our objective glasses and know when there are problems … Continue reading →

The Way You Tell Your Family Stories May Change

Stories change. As our perception and our life experiences change and change us, the way we look back and see what has happened to us is changed as well. When we are in the midst of a difficult separation or divorce, or have just been through a traumatic loss–we may tell our family story one way, while year’s later, the story takes on a bit of a different patina. This is healthy and typical and can be a sign that you are moving through stages and growing. Think back over any romance or friendship or even a job you have … Continue reading →

We Just Won’t Always See Things the Same Way

Most of us expect that we will see things differently from our spouses or close friends and family, but for some reason, we assume that our children will have perspectives much closer to ours. Perhaps it is that we think we will be able to shape them from the early formative years, or perhaps it is because there are times when it really does seem like we are so similar and symbiotic. But the truth is—we are different people and we really will not always see things in the same way or the have the same approaches to things. It … Continue reading →

A Great Thing About a Home Business–There Are Days When I Can Put Off Taking a Shower

Now, I don’t want to imply that I am a grungy, sloppy, troll working away in my home business–but one of the big differences between a traditional job and running a home-based business is that one doesn’t always have to get up, shower, dress, put on make-up and do hair, etc .before getting to work. There are days when I can get right to my work and then take a break a couple hours in to shower and get dressed. Having that sort of flexibility makes me feel like I am more in control of my time and I can … Continue reading →

No Room for Self-Pity

Now, those of you who read my blogs regularly have probably guessed that I am not a tough, stern, no-nonsense sort of person—especially as a parent. No, I am much more of the sort of person who tends to use humor as much as I can and pick my battles carefully. That said, I am also someone who doesn’t leave a lot of room for self-pity in my life or my family. It might seem like a bit of a paradox that I can be relatively easy-going in so many areas, but pretty intolerant of self-pity and feeling sorry for … Continue reading →