Tag Archives: problem solving

How Does Your Family Solve Problems?

How do you solve problems in your family? There are many difrerent ways families solve problems and three of them are outlined in the book , 365 Ways To Help Your Children Grow, by Shelia Ellison and Barbara Barnett. The three styles the authors identify are : mouse, monster and direct . Mouse Style This style involves crying, whining, moping and begging. Monster Style In this style there’s a lot of yelling, intimidating and threats. Direct Style The last style involves simply telling or asking “without buffing things up or watering things down”. The third style is the most effective … Continue reading →

What is Marriage Education?

Who needs marriage school? You fall in love, you plan the wedding, you get married, and you figure it out together as you go, right? Well, for some that’s true, but today you’ll find that many people are trying out premarital counseling and marriage education, from engaged couples to those who have been married for some time. So, what exactly is marriage education? First, I’ll tell you what it’s not. It’s not marriage counseling or a marriage support group. It’s not about dealing with individual couple’s personal issues, problems, or concerns. It is actual classes and workshops designed to teach … Continue reading →

Resolving Differences

Too often when we think about resolving differences, we think that one of us needs to be right. The problem with that attitude is that it also requires that one of us be wrong. While I grant you that there are plenty of times when we fall into either category, difference resolution that forces one or the other to be wrong all the time can lead to bitter resentments. The best resolutions to your differences occur when: You respect your partner’s opinions – right or wrong You understand that truth is fluid – what may be true for you is … Continue reading →

Problem Solving Through Writing

In our family, we have a few kids who have been through a lot of trauma in their short lives and often have difficulty expressing themselves in an honest and open way. They have learned to be People Pleasures, always saying exactly what they think the recipient wants to hear. Maybe, in some circles, this is seen as an admirable trait but I consider it less than healthy. It causes far more problems than it solves. When asked what his most admirable trait is, one of our children often says, “I’m very flexible”. What he means, but can’t yet express, … Continue reading →