Tag Archives: rape

The Guilt of Sexual Assault

I don’t think I have ever encountered a client with a history of sexual assault who has not had issues with guilt. Whether the assault happened during the adult years or in childhood, the specter of guilt is never far from the surface. Why is this? I have spoken with women who were assaulted from as young as three years of age, yet they will tell me that it was their fault. It is the same with adult women who have undergone sexual trauma. Why do we as a gender condemn ourselves for a violent act undertaken by someone else? … Continue reading →

Talking about Tough Issues: Rape

Stress that the child was not given up because of the circumstances of her conception, but because the mother could not care for her (which may have been partly because of the emotional trauma of the cirucumstances of the conception). In early childhood: “It wasn’t a happy relationship. Your birthmother was scared. Sometimes your birthfather hadn’t respected her and had made her do things that hurt her. She didn’t want you around him, and she was too hurt by what had happened to take care of you herself, so she made an adoption plan that would keep you safe and … Continue reading →

When An Apology Is Not An Apology (1)

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We’ve probably all experienced this: the apology that somehow doesn’t satisfy. The apology that leaves us feeling vaguely uncomfortable or even downright angry. Yet, haven’t we just received an apology? Or maybe we haven’t! An apology is supposed to be a statement of genuine remorse that acknowledges that one person has done something to offend or upset another and wants to reassure the person that they have made a mistake and will try their best not to repeat the act. For an apology to qualify as an apology, there needs to be an effective understanding of what the offended person … Continue reading →

Attitudes Portray that Rapists Can’t Control Urges

A recent study of 2000 Victorian (Australia) adults supports that ALMOST two in five people think that men who rape do so because they can’t control their urges. The Violence Against Women Community Attitudes Project also discovered that one in four people believe domestic violence is acceptable as long as the perpetrator genuinely regrets it afterwards. Is it any wonder then that one in five women will experience intimate partner violence in their relationship? Chief Executive Officer of VicHealth, Dr Rob Moodie, sadly stated that the attitudinal figures showed negative attitudes that cause harm to women are still prevalent in … Continue reading →

School Project Information on Sexual Assault.

Parents requesting information on sexual assault for school projects often contact me to find out where to start. When I can, I meet with the students and try to match the information supplied to their topic criteria. However, sometimes just knowing where to start finding out information about sexual assault is the best way to attack projects. It is such a scary and personal topic that many parents state that they are a little embarrassed about seeking information publicly because someone may wrongly think that either themselves, or their child, has been abused. With this in mind, I have gathered … Continue reading →

Coping with Sexual Harassment and Assault (3)

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Last blog, we looked at many of the emotions that a person encounters after a sexual assault. Guilt, anger, denial, a feeling of contamination, anxiety, depression: all combine to make the post-assault period a very stressful time. The importance of telling somebody that you trust about the assault cannot be emphasized enough. Many victims of sexual assault hide the event out of shame or fear of being thought that they brought the incident on by their own behaviors. In some cases, this is a legitimate fear. Although there is no shame in having been sexually assaulted (remember, the real shame … Continue reading →

Coping with Sexual Harassment and Assault (2)

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Sexual assault cuts across gender and racial boundaries causing distress to both sufferers and their loved ones. When sexual assault occurs, it often turns the life of the victim upside down as they struggle to deal with a raft of mixed emotions. Unfortunately, it is hard to prepare yourself for many of life’s more difficult challenges, but having knowledge about what happens on a psychological basis after an assault and ways to deal with the aftermath can go a long way to helping ourselves and others deal with this all-too-common crime. Statistics show that, for females, the highest rate of … Continue reading →

Coping with Sexual Harassment and Assault (1)

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Sexual assault in all its forms occurs across all age groups and in both genders. Unlike the stereotyped “rape” scenario, sexual assault is rarely carried out by strangers. One of the most frightening aspects of this often life-changing event is that it is most commonly performed by a person who is known to the victim. Sadly, it is not so much the dark-clad figure in the lonely park at night that is responsible for most assaults. It is the known and respected: the fathers, the uncles, the husbands, the boyfriends, the teachers, and the bosses. It is this latter aspect … Continue reading →

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Diagnostic Criteria

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As we saw in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: What causes it?, this condition is a relative newcomer to the list of registered psychological disorders, yet it has existed under a variety of names, including “shell-shock”, since time began. It was first termed “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” in 1980. But as far back as the 1600s, the great English diarist, Samuel Pepys, described the Great Fire of London and documented symptoms in the population of what we would now term PTSD. Apart from natural disasters and wartime experiences, women who experience rape, sexual assault, aggravated assault, and robbery are particularly prone to the … Continue reading →