Tag Archives: rituals

Looking Toward the Light: Centering Spaces and Rituals in Your Home

It is snowing today, and it is quiet. It’s still early in the morning, and everyone else in the house is asleep. This is the time when I can write, and it’s a time when I can be by myself, cultivating my introverted self. This is the busy season, and it is also a season that is dark. This time of the year brings families together, and it is also a sad time for those who have lost friends and family – during this year, during any year. My aunt died suddenly and tragically at Christmas time, and my father’s … Continue reading →

Anniversary Celebrations in Adoptive Families

My last blog talked about rituals and celebrations for adoptive families. Of course, adoptive families celebrate the normal family occasions such as birthdays. While these absolutely should be celebrated, sometimes an adoptive child may also feel sadness on their birthday, as they realize that it is the anniversary not only of their birth, but of that their birthparents decided not to parent them. (I have written a blog that talks about helping a child deal with mixed feelings surrounding birthdays.) Many adoptive parents also celebrate “Gotcha Day” on the anniversary of the day they received the child. Some parents try … Continue reading →

Rituals and Ceremonies For Adoptive Families

Adoptive parents are a diverse group. On average they are slightly higher income than the general population and have a slightly higher average educational level than the general populace. They come from all religious persuasions and from none. For those adoptive parents who practice a religion, that religion can be a bonding force for their new family. Families who do not practice a religion may nonetheless seek a special ritual or celebration to mark the arrival of a child and various milestones in the adoption process and in the family’s life. Some families have entrustment ceremonies when birthparents place an … Continue reading →

Do They Have Your Permission to Take the Rituals with Them?

Many of us feel pretty proud and protective of our family rituals. After all, they help bond and define our family as a special, unique entity and they give us ways to connect to one another. Have you ever stopped to think about whether or not you want or hope your child takes any of these rituals out into the world with him or her? Which family rituals did you bring into your current family with you from somewhere else? Recently, my kids were sitting around talking about different memories from their childhood and inevitably, they started talking about family … Continue reading →

Living with a Person with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Sharing a household with a person suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is not easy. It is not uncommon for family members to believe that the sufferer is just “picky” and stubborn and therefore unnecessary arguments and stress results, not only for the co-habiter but for the sufferer as well. Fiona’s husband, Steve, had no idea that his wife had OCD. He had never heard of it. Yet when his wife checked the windows every night before going to bed, even when she knew some of them hadn’t even been opened, he complained. When she checked the dials on the oven … Continue reading →

Entrustment Ceremonies

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In my last blog I said that adoptive parents, who have often been at the mercy of social workers and birthmothers to tell them if and when they can parent, need to claim their child as their own. If this is not done it can interfere with the parents’ ability to give themselves to the child completely. Sometimes the parents feel so lucky to have been given this child that they don’t provide needed discipline. Many adoptive parents enjoy formalizing the transition with a ritual, especially since the actual court appearance may take less than five minutes and/or may be … Continue reading →

Holiness vs. Legalism: Drawing the Line? Part 2

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This is the second part of a 3 part series. In part 1 I shared my thoughts on the way we dress as Christians and the music we listen to in the name of Christ. As stated in my last blog, I have a difficult time drawing the line between striving toward holiness and getting caught up in legalism. If you recall in the Bible, Jesus rebuked the Pharisees who were hypocrites (Matthew 23). They were focused on being self-righteous and following the Law losing sight of the purpose God had for initially establishing those laws. Needless to say, the … Continue reading →

Holiness vs. Legalism: Drawing the Line? Part 1

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This is an area I have one of the toughest times with in my Christian walk! I consider myself fairly moderate on the Christian spectrum. I am conservative in appearance and actions; however there are Christians out there who are much more conservative in apparel and routines than I am. I want to be a better Christian but where do we draw the line between striving for holiness and becoming legalistic by making servitude toward Christ more about rules and regulations than about relationship? Here are some things I’ve been thinking about: Dress: I am not a covered woman as … Continue reading →

Brushing your Daughter’s Hair: The Wonderful Ritual?

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I saw this in many parenting books: how the time a mother spends combing her daughter’s hair is a special time, where ideas are shared and feelings expressed. It’s a beautiful gesture of the intimate bond between mother and daughter. It’s a highly recommended activity that can be shared. Well, those authors never met my oldest. The kid HATE HATE HATES to have her hair touched, let alone washed or combed. I’ve seen my wife struggle for almost five years now. It’s never a quiet warm intimate moment; it’s a battle for survival. Screams, winces, knots, vows (“I’ll never let … Continue reading →

Our Birthday Rituals

Today my baby turns four years old. Four is a bittersweet age. He’s no longer a baby, for sure, but he still wants to be in many ways! He’s bursting with independence but with independence becomes new fears and insecurities. Has it only been four years? Sometimes it seems like an eternity, others like only a fraction of a second. I still remember carrying him to my body from my womb, amazed at what a tiny miracle he was (all 10.5 lbs of him!). Birthdays, no matter what the age though, are always bittersweet for me. They are not just … Continue reading →