Tag Archives: self-care

Strength Can Show Itself in Some Unexpected Ways

Yesterday, I wrote about how important it is for us single parents to get to a healthy place in our lives where we can admit that we have needs and share our needs with ourselves and others. I occasionally write about personal growth and strength and healing here in the Single Parents blog and I have been thinking about how “strength” does not always appear as the obvious strong and stoic personality traits that we tend to think. Sometimes, strength can appear in the shape of vulnerability and softness; strength can show up in our lives in some pretty unexpected … Continue reading →

It is Okay to Admit You have Needs

There is a difference between having needs and being needy–and even if there wasn’t–some of us single parents are in a place where it may be time for us to realize that it is perfectly okay to have needs and it is also okay to be occasionally needy. Who says we have to be strong and stoic all the time or even that having needs means that we are NOT strong and independent? Think of it this way–some very basic things are actually needs: We need food, shelter, health care, etc. We also need things like love, friendship, loving relationships, … Continue reading →

Young Mothers: Take Care of Yourself

In continuing with the young mother series based on Elder Ballard’s third point to mothers in “Daughters of God” is to take time for yourself. Elder Ballard points out that if you do not take time to replenish yourself then you are in danger or running dry and being unable to provide love and care for your family at all. He also warns against “time-wasting, numb-minding things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet.” He counsels us to turn to the Lord to find healthy ways to do this. My grandmother gave me similar advice when I got married, … Continue reading →

Teaching Your Child about Self-Care

For many of us, learning how to nurture, look after, and care for ourselves is an ongoing challenge. We may not have learned how to do it as children and may have instead learned how to give and do for other people to the point that we are neglecting ourselves. As we are learning how to care for ourselves as adults, however, we can try to send a different message to our children and we can teach them about self-care too. I found with my children that there were two main components to teaching them about self-care—one was to model … Continue reading →

Note for the Day: Be Good to Yourself

I know that there is a good chance that you have been taught to be nice and good to other people—if you are like many single parents I know, you have probably mastered this lesson and are an absolute pro at looking after other people and taking care of myriad responsibilities. The question of the day, however, is how good are you are taking care of yourself? How are you at being good to yourself? I need to be reminded to be good to myself. This does not necessarily mean having a big helping of chocolate cake or soaking in … Continue reading →

Saying “No” to Unreasonable Expectations

We do not have to do it all. There, I’ve said it again (I know for a fact that I have stated this mantra before). As single parents, we might be tempted to get roped in to trying to meet other’s unreasonable expectations—we are so determined to do a good job and juggle our responsibilities that it may not dawn on us that we are being asked to take on too much or expected to take on inappropriate problems, tasks, or situations. This is where we have to learn how to just say “No.” I know full well that it … Continue reading →

Where is the Pressure Coming From?

Stress, pressure, tension—there are plenty of single parents who think these words have either become their middle names, or are at the very least a pretty regular reality in daily life. There is no denying that pressure and stress can be rampant in the lives of single parents, but where is the pressure coming from? Is it something that is coming onto us from the outside world, or are we doing it to ourselves? I don’t know about you but there are days when I have to remind myself to breathe the pressure can get so intense. I hit the … Continue reading →

Being the Date I’d Like to Have

I toyed around with how to name this article and decided this is the best I could come up with—the topic is deciding as a single parent that instead of waiting for someone else to come along and be that perfect “movie” date, we decide to be that for ourselves and others. Maybe by making our lives the way we dream, we will attract those people and adventures that we crave… There are certain things that I would absolutely LOVE to have happen in my life—dream dates, adventures, conversations, etc. I think we all have those little scripts playing out … Continue reading →

A Single Parent’s Birthday

Back in December, I wrote a little piece about the fact that we single parents don’t always have someone to fill our stockings or make a fuss over us at the holidays. On the eve of my forty-first birthday, I thought I might write a little bit about ways that single parents can make a fuss over themselves for their own birthdays. We may be tempted to just let it slide or try not to think about it—but what sort of message is that sending to our kids? And what is that doing to our own self-esteem? I accept that … Continue reading →

Traveling for Fun

As a single parent, it can be hard enough to structure your life in such a way as to make travel for work possible and plausible—when it comes to trying to justify and carve out time and resources for personal travel, a vacation, or fun—it can be downright impossible. We single parents have to wrestle with the guilt and the guilt-trips, in addition to the scheduling and resource allocation. But, that doesn’t mean that a little travel for fun is completely out of the question for single parents… In the early years of my single parenthood, I just couldn’t talk … Continue reading →