Tag Archives: self esteem

Think of Yourself as a Pioneer

A pioneer is someone who is breaking new ground and leading the way into unchartered territory. As single parents, we often get trapped thinking of ourselves as “outside” the pack or not part of a societal accepted mainstream. Instead of letting that inferiority complex take hold, how about thinking of ourselves as pioneers instead? I have a few books on female pioneers and women who traveled West on the Oregon Trail to start new lives on the West coast and I have found them to be amazingly inspirational. Many of these women started out reluctantly on the journey west as … Continue reading →

Who Is the “Bad Guy” Here?

When I talk with other single parents, one of the things that come up again and again is how we often feel like we can’t win—there are so many situations in the life of a single parent’s life where we end up feeling like the “bad guy.” Why is it that the ones who are most involved and dedicated to family should end up feeling like the “bad guy”? After all, aren’t we really the good guys?! Even in the years when I was married to my children’s father, I was the primary parent. That wasn’t the way I wanted … Continue reading →

Challenge Yourself to Be a Great Parent

I don’t go in for perfection, or for beating ourselves up for what we are NOT—but I do find that as a single parent, challenging myself to be a loving, attentive, and involved parent has got me through some pretty rugged and rocky times. So often, I think, single parents are just “getting by” and we get caught up in the details of daily living—but focusing on improving our parenting skills and being a great parent can take us out of our own heads and troubles and put the focus on our families. There is a myth out there that … Continue reading →

Can Your Kids Learn to Respect You When Your Ex Doesn’t?

The reality of my single parent family is that my children’s father does not always show the greatest of respect for me. There isn’t anyone around to say “Don’t speak to your mother that way!” (except for me) and since we aren’t living in a fairy tale, I have had to contend with my kids feeling a shifting in loyalties from time to time. There isn’t anything I can do about it and I’ve had several years to learn that I have to demand and earn my kids’ respect on my own terms. I know that I am not alone … Continue reading →

Are They Doing it For Themselves…or for Mom and Dad?

There is a fine line between parental support and encouragement and pushing our children into doing the things we want them to. At least, I think this is a fine line. Even parents with the best intentions can put so much pressure on a child that the child is only doing what the parent wants—not learning how to motivate themselves and find internal rewards for activities, interests, and personal efforts. I don’t know how many times I have watched as parents forced kids out onto basketball courts or soccer fields, or heard teenagers sitting in my living room talking about … Continue reading →

“Look at Me!”

I was working from a café table in an airy coffee shop outside our local library and there was an incredibly active 3 year-old and her mother at a nearby table. The child reminded me a great deal of our newest family member, a rambunctious kitten named Toby as both were up, down, and all over the place—all the while wanting to make sure that they were being watched. The patient young mother answered reassuringly each time, “I see you” and “What a brave girl you are!” Perfect. Most of us know that our children tend to vacillate between stages … Continue reading →

Facing the Lower Income=Lower Self-Esteem Issue

One of the topics that come up again and again when I talk with other single parents is the way we all seem to wrestle with the one income/lower income issue and how it affects our own self-esteem, AND how we worry that it will affect our children’s. We tend to be concerned that if we aren’t able to give our children everything that “other kids” or “other families” have; or that if we aren’t able to live in the right neighborhood, go on vacations, etc.—our children will be at a disadvantage. This can be some heavy stuff and make … Continue reading →

Trust Yourself

I think there are no other two words that a single parent needs to hear than “trust yourself”—we get advice and judgment coming at us from every direction. There are books, articles, talk shows, and well-meaning (and not-so-well-meaning) people who offer us all sorts of advice. For some reason, the fact that we are single parents seems to make people think that we must not know what we’re doing. Add to that the fact that our confidence may be shaken by some of the troubles and crisis we’ve endured and we may not be trusting ourselves either. The truth is, … Continue reading →

It Takes Courage to Get Involved

I have written a bit here in the Single Parents blog about tending to our mental health and all the personal development things we can work on in order to make us better parents, and make sure we have happy, healthy families. I realized that sometimes it isn’t just “knowing” what we “should” do, but it takes a heaping dose of courage in order to step outside our front doors and get involved with the world as a single parent. Any time a person feels “outside” the norm for whatever reason–whether we are making our own selves feel different or … Continue reading →

Teaching our Children to Have a Positive Self-Image

As parents and as members of the church, it is important that we model proper self-image when it comes to our bodies. It is too easy to become caught up in the pursuit of a perfect body. The images that the media flaunts are not healthy, and too easily children and teenagers put themselves down because they are not achieving that look of perfection. Here are five tips on how to promote a positive self-image and a healthy lifestyle for your children. 1) Your example is the most important thing. You should model a healthy lifestyle, as well as have … Continue reading →