Tag Archives: selfishness

Will It Ever End?

My little brother left on an LDS mission in November. I must admit I felt some relief at his departure because I had hoped that would mean that the drama with his father would at least decrease in his absence. Unfortunately that has been far from the case. My heart aches at what his father is putting him through in an already difficult situation. After seeing some of the things he has been saying since leaving on his mission I am appalled at the pure selfishness emanating in each letter. Coming from a divorced family there are so many difficult … Continue reading →

Taking Each Other for Granted

‘Everything’s getting quicker these days, even infidelity,’ Mick said when I told him about a recent article which had discovered it was no longer a seven year itch but a three year glitch. However infidelity isn’t the reason for these couples splitting up. Rather than infidelity, a recent survey has found it is about that three year period where couples start to take each other for granted. And what are the things that are causing them to get disenchanted with their partner? Such things as ‘weight gain, stinginess, and toe-nail clippings on the bathroom floor and snoring’ are among the … Continue reading →

It’s Not All About You

When I listen to some people talk it sounds like they think they are the centre of the universe. That’s the attitude children often have but one would hope we would grow out of it. In a marriage you can’t afford to have this sort of attitude. It’s no longer all about you. There is at least one other person to consider- your spouse. And then sometimes even more, with in-laws and children who come along to be considered. All of us at times want a bit of time to ourselves to do or own thing, but if one person’s … Continue reading →

Patterns of Society Learned at Home

What are our children learning at home? What are they learning from your marriage as they watch you and your spouse interact? Are they learning about what real love is? Are they learning that love is caring about the other person and putting their needs above your own? Or are they learning that life is all about getting what you want no matter who gets hurt in the process? An article posted on the forums started me thinking about all this. The general attitude of society seems to be look after number one –yourself, and don’t worry about trying to … Continue reading →

Luck Has Nothing To Do With It.

The other day we saw how in the soap opera marriage it is so often about self. Sadly that’s also what you see that in some other marriages around where each person is mostly concerned with their rights and what they want, rather than caring for their mate and being selfless in their love. It is an idea that is constantly promoted by our society and our advertising media – that you’re no the most important person in a marriage. I beg to differ. I’d suggest that rather than being focused on self the marriage which is more likely to … Continue reading →

What Does it Mean to Be Head of the Household?

What does it mean to be the head of the household? That’s the question someone raised recently in response to an earlier blog written by someone else on this site. In this blog I’m going to try and answer what it means for a marriage for someone to be the head of the household. Let me start by saying what I don’t think it means. It doesn’t mean that one person is in charge and rules everything that happens in the marriage. I don’t believe, as the last person who commented did, that it means the head of the household’s … Continue reading →

A Violent End to a Marriage

When I read news stories like the one this morning it really makes me saddened about the state of our world and society. I was horrified to read the news story this morning of a husband who killed his 30 year old wife. Using his own gun Scott Hain killed his wife Melanie, while she was on a video call talking to a male friend. The husband later killed himself. The horrific incident raises lots of questions. What goes through the heads of some people and how far have selfish obsessions taken over that a man would kill his wife? … Continue reading →

Taking Care of Each Other

In a happy and successful marriage this is what seems to happen naturally – that they take care of each other. Each person is looking out for their spouse’s best interests and doing what they can to please them and keep them happy. In a happy and successful marriage your spouse and their happiness is your main priority. Unfortunately that is not what we see in many marriages today. Too often it is all about ‘me and what I want.’ Sometimes that can be by ignoring how your actions will action your spouse. ‘If it feels good for me, then … Continue reading →

What Sort of Marriage Is This?

This wasn’t the piece I had started for today but when I saw a news article, I couldn’t help but be astounded, outraged, sickened, horrified at what had happened in one marriage. How could any man do such a thing to his wife? What happened to love honor and cherish? Where are all the things we have been talking about in this blog site like mutual love, respect, acts of kindness, thoughtfulness, consideration, and encouragement? None of them are there. If you haven’t read the article, it is about a man who arranged through an on line list for someone … Continue reading →

Identifying Weeds in a Marriage

Yesterday we looked at a few deceptive weeds that can creep into a marriage by looking attractive at first. A lot depends on your definition of weed. You might have different ideas about what is a weed and what is not. Though other people might call them flowers, like snowball trees, snowdrops, or white jonquils to me they are weeds. In our garden anything that flowers white is a weed by my standards. Mick dutifully g digs them out, because he knows how I hate them. But some weeds easy to spot. Here, in no particular order, are some weeds … Continue reading →