Adoption, under the best possible circumstances, involves loss. Few birthparents deliberately plan to have a child they will have to let someone else parent. Adoptive parents, like all parents, want to shield their children from sadness and from things they think may be damaging to their self-esteem. However, the loss of trust in their parents that secrecy creates is potentially more damaging than the original losses. Books such as Lois Melina’s Making Sense of Adoption and Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child, by Betsy Keefer and Jayne Schooler, recommend age-appropriate ways of conveying a child’s story to … Continue reading →