Tag Archives: separation

Separated But Not Really

Sometimes it takes the insights of someone else to come to the realization about an issue in your life.  That was the case when fellow blogger Michele Cheplic recently posted, “No Chance to Miss Your Kid.”  The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. My 18-year-old son is two weeks away from graduating technical school (Security Forces) at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas.  His first duty station is going to be Turkey, which we anticipated to not happen until March. Yesterday I received word from him that his orders to go will likely be earlier, possibly the beginning of February.  … Continue reading →

Maintaining A Relationship With Your Childs Grandparents

During a divorce getting through the day is a challenge sometimes. Trying to remember all the things you need to do while being solely responsible for your child can feel overwhelming. We talk to our friends about how we are feeling, we rant and cry and yell once in a while. We try to make sure our children are happy, feel secure, answer their questions all while trying to keep their lives and routines as normal as possible. We have so many new responsibilities and roles. We try very hard to be nice to an ex spouse who hasn’t always … Continue reading →

How to Make Memorial Day a Teachable Moment

We buried my beloved grandmother last week. My five-year-old daughter and I along with hundreds of other relatives and friends gathered at Veteran’s Cemetery in Hilo, Hawaii, to pay tribute to an unbelievably remarkable woman whose life will never be forgotten. It had been almost 11 years to the day since I attended a burial at Veteran’s Cemetery. The last time we gathered en masse was to say good-bye to my grandfather. My fiercely proud Japanese-American grandfather, who risked his life to serve the United States in World War II, while some of his family members were forced to reside … Continue reading →

Toddlers and Grandparents

My son is very fortunate in that my grandmother, age 76, is still able to care for him. He has “Grammy Days” and spends time with her. They listen to Bluegrass music and dance around the living room. They also spend time watching cartoons and movies, reading books and occasionally go outside for a walk. It is much more common that toddlers spend time with their grandparents as many great grandparents are not able to keep up with the active life of a toddler. My son spends a great deal of time with his grandparents as well. My father and … Continue reading →

Who Should Hold My Crying Baby?

I’m struggling with a seemingly never-ending dilemma of how long to let my baby cry when others are holding her. I want her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and others to be able to spend time with her. I realize that by holding her, they are able to bond with her and get to know her. However, I also don’t want this to happen at the expense of my daughter feeling secure and safe. Yes, she loves them, but there is no substitute for the kind of comfort and security a mother can provide. I’ve come up with a few ways to … Continue reading →

Are Your Children Safe with Their Grandparents?

This past summer, my husband and I had to make the hard decision between ourselves that we would not leave our children alone in the care of their grandparents. I won’t go into details, but it became obvious to us that our children’s safety might be compromised, were they in the sole care of their grandparents. This wasn’t an easy decision to make, of course. Feeling would be hurt, and the matter had to be handled delicately. But, we feel that it was the best decision for our family and for the safety of our children. Depending on your situation, … Continue reading →

Santa vs. Generous Grandparents

Who needs Santa when you’ve got grandparents? There have been many times when I have seriously considered hiding some of the dozens of Christmas presents my parents have sent my daughter and attaching gift tags that read, “From: Santa Claus” and sticking them under the tree on December 25th. My parent’s generosity is overwhelming… not that I’m complaining (my kid sure isn’t). It’s just that it’s getting harder and harder for me… I mean Santa… to compete with grandma and grandpa when it comes to holiday gift giving. For the record I should note that my 4-year-old is very blessed … Continue reading →

Grandma in the White House

Now that they’ve exhausted the puppy issue, the media has suddenly become obsessed with the prospect of Michelle Obama’s mother becoming the First Grandmother and moving into the White House with the rest of the family come January. Granny’s in the hoooooouse! According to news reports, after some prodding, Michelle convinced her 71-year-old mother Marian Robinson to leave her home on the South Side of Chicago and move to Washington, D.C. with the rest of the Obama’s. Initial reports had the Obama’s looking for new digs for Robinson near the White House, but now some media outlets are reporting that … Continue reading →

The Love Between Grandmother and Grandson

Presidential hopeful Barack Obama just returned to the campaign trail after a brief 22-hour stop in Hawaii to visit his gravely ill 85-year-old grandmother. According to news reports, Madelyn Lee Payne Dunham is recovering from a broken hip, in addition to battling a recurrence of cancer. She also suffers from osteoporosis and has had a corneal transplant. In explaining Obama’s sudden trip to his childhood home, the senator’s spokesperson noted that Dunham’s health had deteriorated “to the point where her situation is very serious.” Yet, some in the media had the audacity to question whether Obama’s flight to Hawaii was … Continue reading →

Book Review: The Ocean Within/Tides

There are plenty of adoption-themed picture books, but fewer stories for the “tween” or early teen-age crowd. (Two others which I have reviewed are Kimchi and Calamari and The Handle and the Key.) The Ocean Within and its sequel, Tides, are a worthy addition to this small but growing body of stories. The Ocean Within bears some similarities to The Handle and the Key in that it gives readers a feel for the point of view of a child being adopted from the foster care system. In The Ocean Within, eleven-year-old Elizabeth has been in foster care for six years … Continue reading →