Tag Archives: shame

How Shame Can Sabotage Our Businesses

Shame is one of those emotions that can do serious damage just about anywhere it pops up. It can keep us from taking risks, feeling confident, and moving forward with relationships and activities. As a home business owner, we need our strength and wits about us and if we let ourselves feel or be shamed in our work–it can be the ruin of an otherwise successful business… I do not mean to sound melodramatic here, but I think when we let ourselves feel embarrassed, disgraced, inferior, or unworthy–we are taking away most of the wind from our sales. Without some … Continue reading →

Coming to School in Your Slippers (And Other Dastardly Deeds)

I am a flawed human being, and probably an even more flawed parent—especially if you are to ask my children’s opinions on the matter. While I used to think I was pretty hip and funky, and I had all sorts of visions about the cool, fabulous parent I was going to be—I have done my share of embarrassing and ill-advised things and I doubt my children will ever let me live them down! The other day my eldest daughter told me she was horrified when her step-mother came to pick her up from a dance wearing a robe and slippers. … Continue reading →

My Motherhood Hall of Shame

Okay, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to use the word “shame” since it has such negative and icky connotations, especially since there is a fair amount of humor intended in writing about this topic. I was recently chatting with my kids and they were reminding me of things that I had said and done that were examples of “faulty parenting.” You know, those moments when you say or do the wrong thing and your kids have it to hold over your head FOREVER… Recently, weary and exhausted from a long week and having to stay up late on a … Continue reading →

Watch Out for Shame

Shame is all about controlling—controlling emotions and behavior. We can fall into feeling shameful ourselves, or as parents we may resort to using shame or guilt to try to control our children. Shame is a vicious cycle and we can get stuck and trapped using shame and feeling shameful in our family life. The opposite of shame is acceptance (either of self or of others) and love and nurturing behaviors. Shame can be so sneaky and compulsive that we use it, feel it and access shameful feelings without even realizing it. The next thing we know, we feel badly, our … Continue reading →

A Goofy Movie (1995)

In this rated G film, Goofy is a single father, doing his best to raise his teenage son, Max. Playing roles of both father and mother, Goofy cleans the house, makes the meals, does the laundry and makes the beds all before heading off to work for the day. He genuinely cares for Max and wants what’s best for him, but despite all of this, Max is deeply ashamed of his father. In fact, he literally has nightmares that he grows up to be just like Goofy. It’s the last day of school and Max wants to go out with … Continue reading →

Group Apologies and Ethnic Shame?–No Thanks

The director of my daughters’ adoption agency in Seoul has issued an apology on behalf of Koreans for the actions of Seung-Hui Cho, the young man who killed 32 fellow students and faculty at Virginia Tech University last week. (Cho was a South Korean citizen but a legal resident of the US who came here at the age of eight.) The apology was disseminated by an American adoption agency in Virginia which partners with the Korean agency in placing Korean children for adoption in the US. My local newspaper featured a Korean-American state legislator issuing a public apology and a … Continue reading →

Dealing with Consequences of Poor Choices

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Have you ever done anything stupid financially or hurt someone and felt tremendous regret over your actions? Maybe it felt like a bad dream you’d hoped to wake up from but couldn’t. I imagine all of us at one point or another have done something stupid that we couldn’t undo. When we make poor choices it might feel like God is angry with us. As a result, we may pull away from Him because our shame is so great. I had a lot of regret one weekend after having a custom ring made. I liked the design. I was forced … Continue reading →

Living with Regrets

Many walk in shame and embarrassment from their past wrong doings. I want you to know if you have repented, God’s desire is not to condemn you (Romans 8:1-3). If you’re feeling condemnation, you need to recognize the enemy of your soul and rebuke him. I want you to please look at Psalm 103:10-13: “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so … Continue reading →

Five Ways to Deal with Staring

There are few things as uncomfortable as standing in a public place, knowing that someone is staring at you. It can almost seem like an invisible laser beam is burning into your back. The experience is even more irritating when the gaping eyes are on your child. As parents, we have an intense need to protect our children from harm and shield them from the scorn of the outside world. So when our child’s disability attracts attention, going out in public can cause us to squirm with discomfort. Personally, my days of being bothered by stares are long over. Let’s … Continue reading →

Weight Loss – Summer Tips to Sticking to your Diet

Here in Texas, we’ve broken the 3 digit temperature every day for three days. Welcome to April in the south. As much as it’s nice to say welcome to the lazy days of summer; we all know that summer is hardly a lazy time for us. Our kids will be home from school, they’ll have summer camps, they’ll want to go swimming and they’ll want to play with their friends. We’re going to have a lot to do ourselves and these are just activities that we’re going to be adding to our busy summer days. So rather than telling you … Continue reading →