Tag Archives: skin color

Skin Color Not Discussed In Our Family

About a year after we brought our kids into our family through adoption my niece who was 6 at the time pointed at our middle child and said “Aunt he sure keeps his tan a long time”. It never occurred to me that she did not realize that he was bi-racial but had strong African American features. If you did not know that his brother and sister were Caucasian and that they all had the same biological mother than you would look at him and see a beautiful black child. Ten years later thinking of that day when we explained … Continue reading →

Right Summer Safety Precaution, Wrong Reason. Now What?

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“I’m glad to see you’re remembering to use sunscreen,” I told my daughter. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “I always do because, you know, I don’t really like my skin. It gets really dark in summer.” HELLO? Haven’t we been over this already? (At least I think we have. I know I had a conversation with the four-year-old last year about skin. With this older one maybe the conversations were all about hair and about wanting wallpaper of blonde Barbies and Cinderellas. I can’t remember.) I didn’t know she’d noticed that her skin got darker in the summer. I hadn’t really … Continue reading →

I Don’t Like My Skin, Part Two

How do you respond when your four-year-old tells you that she doesn’t like her skin, she wants your skin? Here’s what I did—and what I wish I’d done. I’m not sure there’s a right answer to that question. I followed my number one rule of trying to maintain a normal voice so the kids won’t feel like any topic in unapproachable. I told her I liked her skin, it was a pretty golden brown color. I told her people can’t trade skin. I told her God made her the way she was because he liked her that way, and God … Continue reading →

“I Don’t Like My Skin”

“I don’t like my skin. I want your skin.” Uh-oh. This is coming from my four-year-old daughter. On the one hand, I’m not surprised because I know that children often want to look like their parents. I know that at the preschool age kids become aware of differences. I know that my skin color is more similar to the “majority” of Americans’ skin color (although “white” won’t be a majority in another 20 or 30 years, demographers believe). On the other hand, I am surprised because we have always told the girls how beautiful their skin is. We’ve never shied … Continue reading →

Other Kids’ Reactions to My Adopted Kids’ Skin Color

My son Patrick, who is European-American, was nearly three when his sister Meg arrived. Six months later, the two of them sat near me while I read a picture book about a Latino boy. “Hey mom,” Patrick said pointing to the picture, “that kid’s skin is different from mine.” “Yes,” I replied. “And Meg’s skin is different from mine.” “Yes,” I replied. “And mommy, your skin is different from mine.” Although this was a bit unexpected, I do have a rosy undertone (in fact I remember telling someone when I was a child that I was a pink person, not … Continue reading →