Tag Archives: state adoption

My Big Boy Kindergartener

I really didn’t think I’d do it, but the moment got the best of me as I snapped the last photo of my son as he was boarding the bus. I choked up. It wasn’t because he was growing up so fast or because I’d miss him while he was away; it was because I got to take part in another milestone in his life. Perhaps I shouldn’t be too over dramatic about this. I did get to see his first steps one week after he was placed with us. Maybe I shouldn’t weigh in so much on what I … Continue reading →

Glad My Kids Are Here

Posted on by

When people hear how many children our son’s birth mother has given birth to, the most common response I hear is, “Why can’t they just tie her tubes?” Certainly when children come into care, someone is paying the bill. Yes, we the taxpayers are paying for these children to be fed and clothed. There are also people out there that feel it may have been better for everyone, if the children that have been born addicted to drugs, to have been aborted instead. Before our boys were placed, my husband and I were nervous about adopting children that had been … Continue reading →

Communicating With Your Case Worker

Posted on by

You may recall me talking about that awful “hurry up and wait” game. You might even be playing it now. If you are, I’m sure you have discovered, the state does not work on our time! Often times, case workers are very over loaded with each case being unique. Whether you are working with an adoption worker or a child worker, there are some general things you may want to keep in mind. Child workers can be hard to reach at their desk. They are often called to court, or home visits. There is usually a lot of paperwork and … Continue reading →

Birth Parents Love Their Kids

Posted on by

Yes, I have over generalized the title. I’m sure there are birth parents out there that do not feel love for their children. As you read bulletins of waiting children you may be left wondering if many of these parents really cared about their kids. Who would want to harm a child that they love? In learning of the stories behind my children’s entrance into state care, I wondered what kind of love their birth mothers especially had. Both had substance abuse issues while they were pregnant and both were in relationships that involved domestic violence at some point. Both … Continue reading →

The Call for a Sibling

Posted on by

I was warned that it would happen, and eventually it did! When our oldest son came to us, he was the sixth baby born to his birth mother. We figured our second child would be a biological sibling of our son’s as a result. Years passed and we hadn’t been called about any new baby. So, after our son’s adoption finalized, we decided to go ahead and just try to adopt a child through our state. A couple months after getting our home recertified, we got a call about a little boy who needed a new foster home. We were … Continue reading →

Mediated Agreements in Adoption

Posted on by

When openness is desired while adopting a child through the state, it is usually achieved through a mediated agreement. Mediated contracts in adoption are legally binding voluntary agreements that are reached by two parties who are both committed to a specified degree of openness for the interest of the child. Unlike with open adoption, the adoptive parents are in the driver’s seat as they will be the legal parents for the child. Our mediation had to be completed prior to the adoption finalization of our son. We had an agreement with the birth father and another agreement with the paternal … Continue reading →

No Infant Adoption for Us

Posted on by

When my husband and I decided to adopt neither of us desired a newborn baby. I don’t have a specific reason as to why. Perhaps it just wasn’t a part of the Master’s plan in our lives. I’ve spent the past five years in adoption support groups surrounded by families that surprisingly felt the same way as we did. Many were just not interested in the baby ages at all. Some didn’t want to deal with diapers, and all the other things that come with taking care of babies. There are many families that want to adopt older children because … Continue reading →

Seeing God As Our Father

Posted on by

For those who didn’t have a dad growing up, or didn’t have a healthy one, it can be difficult to imagine God’s perfect love for us as our father. A good father provides, comforts, protects, disciplines, and loves us beyond what we can imagine. There are so many examples in the Bible about God’s goodness to us as a father. I would like to share with you a few of these scriptures. Father to the fatherless: How wonderful that He can fill that father role in the lives of those who don’t have a one! Psalm 68:5, “A father of … Continue reading →

When the Lady at the Cosmetic Counter Knows More Than Your Kids Do

Posted on by

Does the lady at the cosmetic counter or at the hair salon know more about your kid’s adoption story than your child? Okay, what about the neighbor next door? It’s too easy for me to forget that my kids’ personal stories are not all mine. Adoption is something we are very open about in our home. My husband and I worked very hard to adopt our children and are proud of the way our family was formed. Like any other mom that has given birth to her child, I enjoy sharing the story of how my boys came into my … Continue reading →

The Cost of Having a Baby

So you want to have a baby or perhaps you’ve already had your baby. The following statistics are per the U.S. Department of Agriculture and are based on what the costs will be to the average middle-income, two-parent family will spend over $153,000 to raise one child between birth and the age of 18. Please take a moment to catch your breath on that figure before we continue. Now, remember – we are still just talking about one child. The child that will cost you over $153,000 to raise will eat about $55,000 worth of food and outgrow, destroy or … Continue reading →