Tag Archives: step-parent

Gisele Bundchen–Loving Stepmother or Insensitive Troublemaker

She’s a drop dead gorgeous multi-millionaire with a super star new husband, and now women of the world have one more reason to hate supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Apparently, marriage has made the rich (rhymes with witch) more arrogant than ever. If you missed the headlines (and the thousands of subsequent Internet posts), Bundchen is speaking out for the first time about being more than just a stepmom to John Edward Thomas Moynahan, the 18-month-old love child of her new hubby New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and his ex-girlfriend model-actress Bridget Moynahan. In the latest Vanity Fair issue, Bundchen let … Continue reading →

When Your Kids Tell You Something the Step-parent Said

It is so incredibly common for children in divorced and separated families to try to play both parents off each other than we could probably write and talk about this for a month. If one of both of the biological parents re-marries or re-partners, that adds step parents to the mix and provides even more adults for children to create drama with. If there is a step-parent in your child’s life, chances are he or she will try to drum up some drama or report on something that one of the step parents said in order to see how you … Continue reading →

When Your Kids Complain About a Step-Parent–Part Two

I wrote yesterday the first part of a two-part article about the problem of negotiating between your kids and a step-parent. I wrote about maneuvering and addressing issues when you are the one in the middle between your kids and a new partner or step-parent of your choosing. It can be a completely different ball game when your ex-spouse or partner re-marries and introduces a new step-parent into the picture that you have NOT chosen, and you might not even really know… My kids’ father has re-partnered and this has added new dimensions to and expanded our family in new … Continue reading →

Negative Feelings toward Stepchildren, Part III

When we feel taken for granted, it hurts. It is not conducive to a happy relationship with stepchildren, or a spouse. That’s why communication is necessary. Your spouse also has the responsibility of working to ensure that his or her children treat you with respect and courtesy. Yet, you may need to bring it to his or her attention. Try to gently discuss these issues with your spouse, without children present. Explain how you feel, without accusing. Use “I statements,” such as “I feel taken for granted,” instead of “You (or your kids) don’t appreciate me.” Try to frame the … Continue reading →

Negative Feelings toward Stepchildren, Part II

Another issue when it comes to stepchildren is not knowing exactly how you’re supposed to feel. As a parent, you may assume that you are automatically supposed to love all children. However, no one automatically loves all people, and that unfortunately includes children. Of course, developing love for your stepchildren should be your goal, but that doesn’t mean you’ll instantly have such feelings. All loving relationships take time to develop. You may also find that you’re trying too hard. You may feel as if you have to get along with the children all the time, or else you are doing … Continue reading →

Negative Feelings toward Stepchildren, Part I

This is a painful and difficult problem, which was recently expressed by a reader, so I’m going to do a series of articles on this topic. I hope this information will prove helpful. I’m not a counselor, so if you feel you need professional help, please seek advice from a qualified expert (*please see articles listed below). There are many reasons why stepparent and stepchild relationships are difficult, including not taking the time to get to know one another. However, there may also be other issues. Blended family relationships can be successful and fulfilling, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy. … Continue reading →

Tips for Dealing with Stepfamily Holiday Stress

When holidays become nightmares instead of joyous occasions, it’s time to do something different. It takes effort and everyone has to be willing to compromise. Now, some people might stop me there and say, “You don’t know my ex or her (his) parents!” No, I don’t know them, but I know what I had to deal with in the past, and it wasn’t pretty. Even if your ex and his or her family are difficult, you can find ways to make things go more smoothly. I hope some of these tips will prove helpful. Put the Kids First If all … Continue reading →

Step-Families: Tips for Blending

Blending a family is, hands down, the most difficult part of re-marriage. Even if one spouse has children, the blending is usually difficult, sometimes painful, and occasionally impossible. Add kids from both sides and difficult ex-spouses and you’ve got your hands full! Here are a few tips for better step-family blending: Family meetings: hold a weekly family meeting when all the kids and adults can be present. Family meetings give kids an opportunity to air their feelings, focus on their accomplishments and feel like a family unit instead of just visitors. For more on family meetings, read this article. Family … Continue reading →