Tag Archives: support

Are You Giving Affection and Support Conditionally?

Unconditionally love—we all know that this is at the root of good parenting. We know intellectually that our children need to feel our unconditional love regardless of what is going on but in the world of the single parent, we may get so wrapped up in some of the trials and challenges of every day life, that we start to use the withholding of love and affection as a way to try to motivate and manipulate our children. Yesterday I wrote about how we need to watch out for using manipulation and controlling behaviors to try to get our kids … Continue reading →

People Who Can Help You

This is not going to be an article about how to get people to do things for you or how to be opportunistic about using people. Instead, I want to talk about how important it is for single parents to be open to, and seek out those individuals who can add to our lives in different ways. Not just those people who can connect us to a great job or provide childcare, but having people in our lives who can be helpful can make all the difference! We all need a hand now and again. It took me a long … Continue reading →

Sometimes, They Just Need a Witness

I find with my children that sometimes they need very tangible things from me: they need me to cook for them or make sure the bills get paid or they need me to buy them new shoes or make sure they get to the dentist. Other times, however, what my children need from me is for me to simply be there, be available and be a witness to the trials, joys and realities of their lives. I actually think that we all often just need someone to witness our lives. Perhaps that is what drives us to establish friendships, stay … Continue reading →

Sometimes, Encouragement is the Best You Can Offer

As parents, it seems to be in our nature to want to do something tangible to help our children. The tougher the time they are having, the more we may want to jump in and save the day or at least ease some of their discomfort. It can be incredibly frustrating to stand by and not do anything at all. I find, however, that there is generally always something we can do—even if the best we can do is offer empathy, understanding and encouragement… It may feel like you are doing very little but there are times (increasingly more as … Continue reading →

Who in Your Life Can You Ask ANYTHING?

I think we all need to have at least one person in our lives of whom we can ask absolutely anything—we can show our silliest, least educated and most desperate sides to and they will be able to respond appropriately. As a parent, we may feel like we have to be that person for our kids (and I think it is a good thing if we are) but we still need to have someone like that in our lives too. We all need someone we can ask for parenting advice, dating advice, or just express some of our most unsavory … Continue reading →

A One-Parent Cheering Section

As single parents, we often do things alone—particularly family things. Unless we have an incredibly involved co-parents, or we are lucky enough to be involved with someone who is happy to attend activities and do “family things” with us, many of us generally attend school and sports activities, performances, games, etc. on our own. For our children, and us, we get used to being a very loud one-parent cheering section… When you start to feel sorry for yourself or your child, try to remember that having one parent in the stands is much better than having no parent in the … Continue reading →

Caring for Your Child When He’s Ill

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Probably the hardest job any parent has is to take care of their child when their child is ill. It is exceptionally difficult when your child is in pain, and you can’t take it away. Couple that with having to wait around in a hospital. Perhaps your child has had multiple hospitalizations for some underlying health problem, such as our son with special needs, who has Sprintzen’s Syndrome. At the risk of sounding completely sexist, it seems to be especially hard on the father. The dad, who believes it’s his “job” to fix everything. However, this is something that dad … Continue reading →

How Much Support Would Your Mate be for You?

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When you take your marriages vows, you vow to love one another through better and through worse. The better part is always an easy one to uphold. However, many couples struggle when it comes to the worse clause. Courtney had discussed in a previous article wives that stand by their husbands through scandals and such. She also talked about how they stand by their man devoted (at least in the public’s eye). There are also women and men who stand by one another through affairs and cheating. Today I want to look at things from a little different perspective. What … Continue reading →

Get Interested in Your Child’s Passions

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking that you have enough to manage just trying to keep control of a busy single parent’s schedule. “Now she’s telling me I need to take on all my child’s interests too! Where on earth am I going to find time for that?!” I am not preaching that we need to get all involved and take on our children’s passions as our own, but I do think that we need to find time to care and get interested in what they are interested in. It gives us a way to connect and it gives … Continue reading →

Surround Yourself with Safe People

We often talk about the importance of a support network for a single parent and it is imperative that we find friends and family who can lend a hand, offer support and encouragement, and bolster us in our lives as a single parent. It is also important, however, that we learn how to identify and choose “safe” people to support and love our families. Depending on where you are coming from in your life, it might be easy or challenging to choose safe people to surround yourself with. Some of us have strong and healthy boundaries already, or we are … Continue reading →