Tag Archives: talking with children

Book Review: Did My First Mother Love Me?

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We don’t have enough books about the birthmother’s perspective on adoption (The Tummy Mummy and The Mulberry Bird being happy exceptions). Fortunately, one birthmother has written a book for her child to read if she ever asks whether her first mother loved her. Kathryn Ann Miller has fortunately chosen to share her response with all of us, realizing that not all of us will have access to our children’s birthparents and that not all birthparents will be able to articulate their feelings. Miller’s book: Did My First Mother Love Me? –A Story for an Adopted Child opens with a girl … Continue reading →

Where Babies Come From, or, Don’t Fall Asleep on an Airplane

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Since my daughter was adopted at one year old, I figured we’d have a few years before any discussion of where babies came from. What I forgot to prepare for was the fact that her older brother would be the first to ask about birth and adoption. I was caught off guard when the subject arose when my son was four. Since Patrick’s experience had led him to believe that a younger sibling arrived if your mother fell asleep on a long airplane ride, he wasn’t buying it when some of his preschool buddies informed him that their little brothers … Continue reading →

The Importance of Playing with Your Child

Many parents work and have busy lives. Because of all of the activities and chores that must be completed, most parents spend very little time actually playing and talking with their children. Many parents would like to spend more time playing with their children but simply are unsure how. Adults are set in the fast pace of the world and have a hard time slowing down to do much of anything, including taking the time to listen to what children need and want. I am guilty of this myself. It can be difficult to sit down to play dolls or … Continue reading →

Talking with Children About Special Needs

Many children who are adopted have some special needs. Children adopted from the foster care system may show emotional and behavioral needs related to neglect or frequent separations (although most of these kids do very well, contrary to the media focus on problems). Children from overseas may have a birth defect which is correctable by relatively routine surgery common in this country but not in theirs, for example a cleft palate or club foot. In some cultures facial differences can make life harder and these children may be more likely to be placed for adoption. Parents may consider a child … Continue reading →