Tag Archives: teenagers

Mistake #2 Parents Make With Teenagers: Looking for Parenting Answers in Others

So far I have covered mistake #1 that parents of teenagers make, expecting the worse out of this stage of life.  The second mistake I am going to talk about is trying to find parenting answers through others. I know that sounds pretty strange, considering I am technically giving advice.  But at the heart of my message is this…every family is different, so you have to learn what’s best for yours. This doesn’t mean that help from others—whether it comes through books, seminars or blogs—shouldn’t be sought.  It doesn’t mean that you can’t be encouraged or inspired by others. But … Continue reading →

Mistake #1 Parents Make With Teenagers: Expecting the Worst

I am like any other parent…clearly imperfect.  I have made a lot of mistakes and am pretty sure there is more to come.  But I am also a mom who believes in learning from those mistakes, which is what brings me to this five part series on mistakes we parents make with teenagers. The first one we are going to look at is the mistake of expecting the worst out of your teen.  Sometimes this starts long before they’ve even reached this stage, so it might help parents whose children aren’t quite there yet. When my children were in elementary … Continue reading →

When Other Moms Are the Enemy

You know how they say we can be our own worst enemy?  When it comes to parenting, I think we can have two enemies—not only ourselves but other moms. Ever notice how men don’t compare their fathering skills to one another.  But women do? Of course, get a group of men together and it’s highly unlikely they are going to be discussing their children anyway.  Their conversations tend to swirl around work, sports and the latest home project. But put a group of women together and their children tend to pop up in the conversation.  And unless it’s a group … Continue reading →

No Longer in Control

Reality slapped me in the face a couple of weeks ago.  The reality of being a military family that is at the mercy of their timetable. My son’s first duty station to Turkey wasn’t supposed to happen until February or March.  So needless to say it came as quite a shock to our family when the day after he graduated training from Security Forces, he called to let me know that he was leaving the next day for Turkey. As the words came out of his mouth, I nearly stopped breathing.  This was my warning, just one day?  There went … Continue reading →

When Valentine’s Day Is a Downer

Valentine’s Day can be a real downer for many teens.  It may be nothing more than a reminder that they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, fueling some of the negative beliefs they may already have about themselves. Sometimes schools add insult to injury by drawing greater attention to it.  Although last week was “Spirit Week” at my daughter’s high school, I found the theme for Friday to be a bit unsettling. You were supposed to wear a color to represent your relationship status.  The different colors showed if you were taken, single or in a relationship dubbed “it’s complicated.”  … Continue reading →

Do Children Make You Happier?

What role do children play in a parent’s happiness?  Do we find more joy in raising these youngsters or is there a longing for B.C. days (before children)? Apparently new research indicates that yes, parents are happier than those who don’t have children.  However, those with children that are the least happy are single and young parents. In fact, these groups may even be less happy than childless adults. Some have argued that the results are skewed because they didn’t differentiate between parents of babies and those with adult children.  Clearly the age of a child will make a significant … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Boundaries and Freedoms

Today I am wrapping up my teen challenges series.  I have addressed lying, attitudes, bad choices, and peer pressure. Now we tackle boundaries and freedoms.  Although these sound like opposites, they really do intertwine. First, boundaries have to be established.  You can do this through rules, contracts or whatever creative ideas you may come up with. Boundaries are in place to protect your teen, which is something you need to explain.  Don’t expect them to get it…they think they are invincible.  But it still needs to be said. Freedoms come into play when those boundaries start to move.  It doesn’t … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Peer Pressure

Lying, attitudes, bad choices.  All of these challenges that most parents have to deal with at one time or another when raising teenagers.  But there is another challenge that can sometimes make you feel as if you are climbing Mount Everest.  It is the impossible feat of dealing with peer pressure. For many teens, peer pressure is the most difficult thing to resist.  They want to be liked, they want to fit in. I don’t know how I have managed to mostly overcome this issue.  But my two oldest children have never really struggled with this. They are both who … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Bad Choices

So far I have covered teen challenges of lying and attitudes.  Now we come to one of the most difficult things for a parent to do…watch their child make bad choices, or to discover the bad choice after the fact.  It is a very helpless feeling. You like to think that everything that has been taught and modeled to your child would make a difference.  It’s easy to feel like that isn’t true when it all goes south.  But I’m here to tell you that it makes more of a difference than you might imagine. Think about one of those … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Attitudes

I started off this new series on teen challenges with the issue of lying.  Today’s parenting topic is the challenge of dealing with teen attitudes. At some point even the most compliant, “model” child will display some version of an attitude.  It could be eye-rolling, clucking of the tongue, shaking of the head, arms folded, feet stamping, or words such as “Whatever,” “Oh my gosh!” or even, “I hate you!” Attitudes can also include doors slamming, objects being tossed and storming off to sulk. Some are less dramatic, while others go all out. I wish I could tell you that … Continue reading →