Tag Archives: wedding

How False Assumptions Fuel Anxiety

If you are living with an anxiety disorder – such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or panic disorder – you probably live with a deep-seated set of assumptions about life that simply are not true. Unfortunately, these are assumptions so ingrained in your belief system that you never think to question them. You take these assumptions for granted, giving them needless power over your life. The key to overcoming anxiety is to bring these negative assumptions out of the shadows and into the light. Upon close scrutiny, you can come to see assumptions for what they really are – false … Continue reading →

It’s the Little Stuff That Causes Discord

Have you ever noticed that it’s the little stuff that can make us crazy? When I think back to the past almost 20 years of marriage, I am amazed by the huge obstacles we have overcome. It seems like we have defied odds at times and come through some pretty difficult circumstances. Yet it’s the little stuff that can creep up and become mountains. It’s the little stuff that can cause discord. We let small annoyances, pet peeves and bad habits rule our mood. Forget the fact that we overcame the loss of a child through miscarriage…my goodness, if that … Continue reading →

My Cancer and Stress

When your cancer treatments are done most people think you are done with cancer. The reality is much different. The psychological issues that come with a cancer diagnosis last long after the last treatment is over. With me, at my first oncology appointment the doctor said to me “We can treat you this time but when it comes back we can’t”. First let me say that those words from him caused me a great deal of stress. Here is this doctor and he is basically telling me I was going to have a recurrence and it would kill me. For … Continue reading →

Do You Know Your Spouse’s Greatest Needs?

I recently got together with a friend who was sharing a secret to her happy marriage. She divulged to me the frequency of her intimate relations with her husband and how in return he met so many of her needs. Those needs weren’t physical, nor were they emotional. They were doing chores around the house. Well I can definitely attest to the fact that I would love to see the dishes emptied, the laundry thrown in or the bathroom cleaned. But does my husband know this? Or do I just assume that he knows? You see, my friend and her … Continue reading →

Are You a Ride or Die Woman?

Are you a ride or die woman? I watched an infuriating episode of Dr. Phil last week that was on this topic. A ride or die woman is basically one who stays by her man no matter what. While that sounds great and I am definitely all for keeping a marriage together, there are limits. The woman on this show was refusing to leave her husband who had cheated on her numerous times. There was also no indication that he would stop. Yet she wasn’t willing to leave him because she loves him and she didn’t want her son to … Continue reading →

Do You Give Expecting Something in Return?

I found out from watching “The View” this week that GQ magazine came out with an article about a couple who bargain for sex. He does certain chores in exchange for sex. There are a couple of ways to look at this. If you really want to find something good about it, I guess you can understand how it meets each other’s needs. She needs help around the house and he needs…well, we know the answer to that one. But why does it have to be a bargaining tool? Why can’t couples just meet each other’s needs without it being … Continue reading →

Challenging Family Dynamics

It’s Memorial Day as I write this blog and although we have our meal planned out for the day, which includes my husband grilling and me making potato salad and desserts, we don’t know who is going to come over. We have sort of an interesting family dynamic. My husband’s brother married my sister, so our families are very closely intertwined. It can be good in many ways but it can also be a huge challenge in other ways. Without going into the details, let’s just say that getting together as a family isn’t always easy. People sometimes have their … Continue reading →

It’s the Small Things That Sometimes Mean the Most

Photo by w1n → in Flowers There are moments in a marriage where a very small thing means so much. This past Wednesday I attended a Bible study at my church. It’s a new series on how to stay in love in marriage. The pastor who was leading it shared a story about what may seem to us an insignificant moment, but to him deepened his love for his wife even greater. I had the same kind of moment as well. It was on Monday when my husband and I spent the day at Children’s Hospital. Our 12-year-old son had … Continue reading →

It’s Never Too Late to Change

If there is one thing I have learned in my marriage, it’s that it is never too late to change. Now before you get your hopes up, in thinking that I am talking about your spouse…know that I am actually talking to you. So often we are looking at the things in our spouse that we would like to see changed. Yet if we would spend more time examining the state of our own hearts and the attitudes that we have, we are likely to find that we have our own issues. It is so much easier to spend your … Continue reading →

Marriage Lessons For Children

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Sometimes I worry. Ok, most of the time I worry, but this is a specific worry. What am I, a divorced woman, teaching my daughter about marriage. I’ve been divorced since my daughter was ten. My ex husband and I made a point to never argue in front of our daughter, so she never got the chance to see us work things out either. I want my daughter to have a marriage that we all dream about so I trot out all the tired cliches: Marriage is a life long commitment. Anything worth having, including marriage, is worth working for. … Continue reading →