It’s amazing how important the little things are in a marriage. Yesterday Mick and I were playing a set of tennis together. We were playing against good two players.
Throughout he kept encouraging me with, ‘nice shot’ or ‘good pick up,’ and similar comments. Meanwhile I kept encouraging him as well ‘great serve.’ ‘Well done,’ etc. The result was we both played exceptionally well. That’s the difference a bit of encouragement makes on the court and in marriage. It helps you be better than you really are.
Sadly, into his second set his Achilles tendon started to play up as he went for a short shot. When he came off, it meant he was done for the day rather than aggravate it.
I played one more set and he was happy for me to play again. He was thinking of me because he knows I love to play. But I know how annoying it is to sit and watch when you can’t play and also by then the weather had changed, so rather than have him sitting around in the cold, I suggested we leave and started to pack up.
Later he needed a recharge card for his phone. Rather than him walk unnecessarily on his sore foot, I suggested he sit in the car and I’d get it. I knew he would do the same if the situation was reversed. All of these are only little things but they make a difference in marriage.
So, I guess the two things that stuck out form the morning are how much difference encouragement makes to anything we are doing. I know I can always count on Mick for that. Hopefully he can say count on me for it too, as that’s what I try and do.
The second was thinking of the other person and not letting selfish desires take over. Give and take, that’s what we both see marriage as being about. He looks after my best interests and I look after his. That’s the way it works best. If you haven’t thought if it that way before, why not try it this week?
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