I am a pretty independent lady. I was single for many more years than I thought I would be, so by the time I found my sweetheart I had already defined much of my life. I had finished my education and was financially, emotionally, and spiritually stable. I had, out of necessity, filled all the gaps.
So adjusting to a shared life was a bit more of a struggle than I had anticipated. I still wanted to control the finances and took over worrying about our temporal well-being with gusto. During a frank conversation one night, my husband, Chad, asked my why I didn’t trust him to provide. The question completely threw me off because I had never thought about it in that way. I had never realized that my continuation of what I’d always done came across as (and in many ways was) mistrust. That simple question sparked a lot of reflection on my part.
A few Sundays later we were studying the Family Proclamation and Chad and I were assigned to talk about the roles of husband and wife. The husband’s role is to provide—I knew that already, but at that moment I realized that by not trusting him with this sacred responsibility, I was robbing him of his chance to fulfill his role as husband and soon-to-be father. My energy was needed and required elsewhere.
Once I realized this, I was able to understand the spiritual wisdom behind both my husband’s question and the proclamation. I am a smart, independent woman, who is capable of many things, but the lessons I needed to learn were trust and to relinquish the role I’d been dominating because it wasn’t my role.
My problem had nothing to do with checking the bank account or paying bills—I believe women should be in the know about family finances—I just needed to allow my husband the opportunity to fulfill the role he both wanted and needed to play. Since then, it’s been easier to trust both my husband and the Lord and it’s made a huge difference in my outlook and understanding of the divine roles we each have.