I used to go to the synagogue every Shabbat to pray and to hear the Torah Reading. In fact, the small ceremony of taking the Torah scroll down from its place, unrolling it and the reading of the weekly portion, section by section, was my favorite part of the service. Inevitably, a baby would cry or a toddler would whine, but it didn’t disturb me very much, until I got married and had children (Thank G-d) and those little cries and voices emerged from my own offspring. Then suddenly, things became stressful. If a lady shoots me a look because my little boy whines once, should we be here? Will he whine again? Should I give him a candy? Will unwrapping the candy wrapper make too much noise? Is it okay to nurse my infant in the corner, or does it disturb people? Every little noise here and there had to be judged on a case by case basis. Perhaps I’m more tightly wired than many moms, but I found worrying about my son’s noise more distracting than the noise, so I became a “stay at home” Shabbat Mom. However, I know women who take their entire family to shul without any concern or complaint.
Whether and how to take your kids to the synagogue varies according to one’s community, personal feeling, and children. Women are not obligated to pray in a synagogue. In our neighborhood in Jerusalem, many of the Sephardi women do almost all of their praying at home, whereas a friend of mine takes her two young children to the synagogue every Shabbat, and stays from the beginning of the service to the end. I used to take my son when he was a baby and nurse him discreetly in the corner when he would cry, but once he began to walk (or rather, run) I stopped going to the synagogue. This was hard for me, but it was essential for my sanity. I remember one Yom Kippur I did nothing but follow him up and down the stairs of the synagogue while I was fasting, prayer book in hand. Now that he is almost three, he may be ready to sit for part of the service.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi ruled that parents should refrain from taking young children to the synagogue if they make noise. However, many synagogues have resources, like childcare during services, which enable parents to take their toddlers to shul and pray the entire service while their kids are occupied. Unfortunately, we do not have this luxury in our community, but any parents who do have this opportunity available should take advantage of it. It really is the best solution.