How you reward your toddler for pottying on the toilet and/or making an attempt to go in that direction is a key part of the pottying process. In fact, I was recently telling my husband that I believe one factor (among a few) for the reason the girls are taking longer to potty train is because I cannot always tell who went potty and so the praise for potty in the little potty is kind of generic. Sounds strange but put the scenario into your world for a minute. If you did a phenomenal job at something in the office and your boss very excitedly announced that he was pleased with something someone had done–without mentioning names or thanking you personally–it’d put a damper on your parade. So it is with the twins I believe. (And would you believe they’re fraternal and we still can’t always tell them apart?)
In any case, the right kind of praise in potty training. . .is a big deal. It is the goal to be accomplished and giving appropriate praise for a job well done goes a long way. I am amazed however, at how many parents use manipulation and bribery to accomplish the task. I think of one friend who bought a toy her child really wanted and displayed it prominently in the bathroom and told her son, “When you go potty 3 times and poopy 3 times–you can have the toy.” I think of other parents I know who have punished their children and one mother told her child that Dora the Explorer would be mad at the little girl if she got her wet. Yes, these techniques can be effective in potty training, but really, this isn’t the route you want to go.
Pottying is a developmental skill with lots of steps to be mastered. I’m actually going to repeat that because I want it to sink in: it is developmental. Think about other skills that are developmental: walking, crawling, smiling, rolling over. They all happen when they happen and sure, there are things you can do to encourage them along, but would you ever consider buying a toy and telling your child he can’t have it until he walks? It sounds ridiculous right?
Potty training is the same. A developmental skill can be encouraged, but you can’t really forcefully coax it out of a child. They’ll do it when they’re ready to do it. With that said, here are a few appropriate ways to give attention to successful pottying:
*We use sparkly, foamy soap for any attempts made on the potty. Hand washing is part of the process and so it is a very logical award for trying and being cooperative.
*Hugs, kisses, silly dances, and general excitement when the toddler potties on the toilet. These get your child excited too and give the impression that not only does pottying in the toilet please mom, but it also is an accomplishment worth celebrating.
*Making a point to tell siblings and other family members how proud you are of the little potty star!
*Stickers, stamps, or other visible rewards can be used as well if needed.