There are many childhood phases that parents and teachers and child caregivers must endure. One of those phases is well known and often barely tolerated by adults.
As those of you who keep up with the forums know, tattling can get the best of all of us. The discussion listed in the Ages and Stages 3-5 year old forum is about how to handle tattling.
Like with most childhood milestones and phases, everyone has a different point of view. If five childhood psychologists were interviewed, they would all probably tell you something different to do about the issue.
Some suggest that the tattling is a cry for attention and just lending an ear can help solve the problem. While this does work in some cases, I can fully understand the frustration of anyone who works with several children at one time.
Tattling at home can often be handled differently than tattling among classmates or peers. I tend to reason more and help my own children think through what they are saying more than the children at school. There is more time and fewer children.
If you have ever been on the playground with a group of kindergarten students you can likely testify that the “tattle tales” can be overwhelming.
There are several different approaches that I have heard teachers take to limit the tattling. As suggested in the forums, I have heard of the “tell it to the ear on the wall”. I have also heard of teachers having students keep a small notepad. They ask students to write it down and then place it in a box on the teacher’s desk. While this may be best for older children, even kindergarten students can usually write another student’s name.
Using a stuffed animal, as seen in the forums, is also a good idea.
I typically do not have a major problem with tattling. At the beginning of the year I explain different circumstances that should be told and some that can be left unsaid.
When children come up and it is obvious that they are going to tattle, I simply say, “Do I need to know it?’ Many times the child will say no and turn and walk off. After this happens a few times, the children usually begin to think about it before coming to me. They know what my question will be.
They key is to let the child know that some things should be told. Acknowledge good tattling. Do not stress over it. It will pass (unless you are a preschool or kindergarten teacher).
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