Did you know that money is the most common cause of disagreement among couples? Whether a couple is rich or poor does not matter, disagreements about money are common among couples from all points on the economic spectrum. It’s no wonder, then, that many couples avoid discussing finances at all costs.
What if you knew that discussing your finances together could actually improve your relationship, if you went about it the right way? You would probably be more inclined to give it a try. Tackling the tricky area of finance as a team can actually strengthen your relationship and keep your family’s financial situation more stable than if you keep things separate and split the bills.
Chances are you and your significant other have slightly different, if not radically different, beliefs and values about money. This is not the problem, though. Neither of you has to change who you are in order to reach an agreement regarding the family’s finances. If you approach the issue with trust, respect, and kindness, you will be able to figure out a way to keep the family’s budget in balance while accommodating your individual financial personalities.
For example, if one of you is a saver that squirrels away every last penny and the other likes to have a little money to spend on “whatever” once in a while, you could decide together that a certain amount of your income will be saved while another portion of it is available for each of you to use for discretionary spending. Both of you will be doing what you like to do with money, and you will be doing it together. More importantly, you will be doing it without finding fault with each other because you made the initial decision together.
If you would like to sit down with your significant other to begin discussing finances, a good place to begin is by determining where you are. Set aside some time to get together and map out your current financial situation. What money is coming in, and from what sources? What have you been spending it on? Are there debts? Knowing what money is going in and out can be a neutral discussion, if the two of you commit to making the conversation free of finger-pointing and approach it with the intention of establishing a baseline of where you are at now so that you can begin working on setting financial goals together.
It may take some work, and it may be a bit uncomfortable to begin talking money with your honey. If discussions turn negative, set aside the topic and take some time to cool down. Notice what other issues are coming up in addition to money, and talk about these too. Hopefully with time, finances will become less and less of a sore spot in your relationship.
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