When I was getting ready to go away to college, my parents sat me down and said something to the effect of “you’re probably going to drink when you’re at college, just do it responsibly.” They didn’t know that I’d already been faced with offers of alcohol and turned them down without hesitation.
But then, I wouldn’t consider myself a typical teen with a typical curiosity about drinking. I had already seen up close what serious drinking could do to a person, and was not at all interested in alcohol. I never had more than a sip to taste until my twenty-first birthday.
There’s a big debate about underage drinking, especially around graduation time — with “supervised” parties where graduating seniors who are still underage can enjoy a drink “safely”. Okay, the quotes probably tell you which side of the debate I’m on. But that’s a conversation for another day.
Today, I’m thinking about how we talk to our children about drinking, and alcohol abuse. How long do you shelter them? How early do you think your children become curious about it? By the time my parents sat me down for a talk, I’d already made up my mind to not drink. I’d already been offered alcohol at parties, and I knew lots of my classmates were drinking.
Some things to think about:
- How old were you when you first encountered alcohol? Your children probably encountered it at the same age, if not earlier.
- What is your personal attitude towards drinking? Is this how you’d like to see your children handle alcohol?
- Do you have any alcoholics in the family, or in your circle of friends? Have your children been exposed to them at their best, or at their worst? What kind of impression has it made? Have you talked about it?
This may not be an easy subject to bring up with your children. Please don’t avoid it just because it’s difficult! Here are some more tips from Because Oregon, a partnership between law enforcement, parent organizations, and liquor distributors hoping to reduce underage drinking.
- Don’t assume that your child won’t have access to alcohol, or be offered drinks by classmates or friends. Or be curious! It can happen to anyone, even a kid who is in the top 5 in her class, who was on Student Council for four years, who never had a detention in her life (yeah, that’s me).
- Talk plainly and clearly about the family rules on drinking and the consequences of breaking those rules.
- If you decide that underage drinking is not allowed in your home, stick to it.
- Remember that alcohol use during childhood and adolescence can damage the brain. It is not a “rite of passage” and “everyone has to do it”.