Talking to your teens isn’t the easiest feat in the world. Of course it depends on two things, what gender your teen is and their personality. Boys tend to be vague in their communication. It can be a bit trickier trying to get a teen boy to talk. Girls can be dramatic, which can be difficult to understand.
I think if there is one bit of advice I would give to every parent of teenagers it is, don’t give up. Never, ever give up on talking to your teen. Half of the time it may appear they aren’t listening. You would be amazed at how much they really are. It may also be difficult getting feedback but you are establishing something very important when you keep trying.
If there is one thing I want my teenagers to know, it is that they can come to me at any time for anything. I don’t ever want my children to feel they can’t share something with me. That is why I started something I call “Confession Night.” It is a night I will randomly go to one of my children and say to them, “Okay, it’s confession night.”
What that means is they have a chance to confess to me something they have done wrong and no matter what it is, they will not be punished. The first time I introduced this idea one of my children immediately confessed fighting with their sibling when I wasn’t around. I was pleasantly surprised at how easily my child was able to do that. It wasn’t anything earth shattering or something I didn’t already figure happens but I loved how my teen got the concept, you can tell me anything.
If teens know they can talk to you about anything they will feel more secure and safe in their relationship with you. About a week ago my 16-year-old son shared something with me that I was more than surprised about. He allowed me a peek into what a 16-year-old boy struggles with. I had to be very cautious about the way I responded. If I had come across as judgmental or upset, it would have shut him down. Our conversation would have quickly ended.
Talking to your teens isn’t impossible. Make yourself available and understand your child’s clues. They have their moments when they want to talk but may not come right out and say it. Never, ever turn down an opportunity to talk with your teen. Never be too busy to listen. They need you.
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