As parenting experts go, John Redmond in my opinion, is one of the best. I just recently starting reading his columns in my local paper and was so impressed with his down- to- earth advice and his somewhat comedic style of writing that I picked up one of his latest book, The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children, and devoured it in about two days. It’s full of advice for parents on a variety of topics but what I like best is it includes many questions similar to ones you would find in his column. In upcoming blogs I will share some of my favorites. Here’s one I like concerning what a parent can do with a child who throws a tantrum whenever the parent has to leave a public place like the grocery, library, etc.
A mother wrote in asking what she should do because not only does the child scream, she has the habit or running from the mother. Several times she has run into the street even. The mother had taken to leaving the child home rather than risk the meltdown (and possible danger of the child getting hit by a car). Rosemond suggested that the mother do a “dry run”. If you are having a similar problem here is how you can eliminate it by using this technique:
(1) Take your child to their favorite store. You should do this when you don’t need to actually buy anything. Walk around for awhile and then let your child pick something they want to buy.
(2) When it’s time to go if the child starts to scream and struggle, put down the item, pick up your child, carry them to the car, strap them in and drive off. Even if you have purchased the item, leave it in the store (you will have to choose something inexpensive so that this does not hurt you also!).
(3) When you get home, confine your child to their room for the rest of the day. Tell the child that this is the way it is going to be from now on.
(4) The following day take your child on another dry run. When you get to the store remind them of what happened the day before and let them know that if they scream again the same thing will happen.
(5) Repeat the dry run until your child gets the point. It might take 3 to 5 runs before this happens.
This is a great idea and certainly worth trying if you are faced with the same problem.
See also:
Build Grouch Time Into Your Toddler’s Day
Parenting Myths of Defiant Children
Week 7: 8 Weeks To A Well-behaved Child